Tag Archives: forgiveness

To my younger self….

Dear sweet child,

I know the world feels scary sometimes and it will make you feel chewed up and spit out, as if you were nothing. 

People will reject you, abandon you, betray you. 

You will sometimes feel disappointed, confused by the absurdity of it all, hopeless and heartbroken.

You will sometimes be used and abused and left utterly alone.

It will sometimes feel like there’s a dark, stormy cloud following you around with no light to be found. 

And some days you’ll feel like giving up, laying down your sword and drifting off to the great big beyond. 

But hang on sweet child. Don’t let the darkness swallow you up. 

You have a beautiful light inside you that must be tended to with devotion… honoured, shared.

Let go of all the voices in your head telling you that you are broken, worthless, unloveable… the voices of those who’ve gone before you that never healed themselves and passed their pain onto you, like a torch.

You mustn’t carry it forward. Your work here in Earth School is to put it down… let it go. For it was never yours. 

And remember these words from your older, wiser self:

  • Always listen to your gut, your heart, your spirit team.
  • Don’t worry about making mistakes, looking stupid or being wrong about something. This is how you learn.
  • Never shrink to make others comfortable. Take up space!
  • Never dim your light for those afraid to see. They can buy some fucking sunglasses! 
  • Don’t abandon yourself. ALWAYS have your own back. 
  • Never take the blame or credit for something you didn’t do.
  • Always take responsibility for your actions. Apologise and then do better. 
  • It costs nothing to be kind.
  • It’s better to trust and get hurt, than to live with a closed heart. A closed heart can’t receive love. 
  • People lie and behave badly… and it’s not a reflection of you or your worth. 
  • Rejection is re-direction. Have faith.
  • You are always held and supported by the Universe. Trust it. 
  • You are a unique and precious being. Share your magic with the world.
  • You are made of love and stardust. It took a miracle’s decree to create you. That’s how important you are. 
  • Take care of your energetic diet as much as your physical diet. Both can be healing or toxic. 
  • It’s not being judgemental. It’s being discerning, which is an essential muscle to strengthen.
  • Watch out for fake gurus, coaches and anyone who encourages you to outsource your divinity. Your true guru lives inside you.
  • “No.” is a complete sentence. 
  • If someone thinks you’re too much, let them go find less.
  • Setting boundaries is an act of love. Those who treat it like an act of warfare are precisely why you need boundaries. 
  • It’s better to give from your overflow than your overwhelm. Take good care of yourself.
  • Self care is not selfish. Don’t let anyone convince you it is. 
  • Your soul tribe will get you, so don’t waste your time convincing any one of your worth.
  • And in the words of Dr. Seuss (allegedly): “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” You never need to hustle for love. 

Much love from your future self. 😘💖✨

who am i

who am i

when i’m not hustling for worth

not performing for love

***

who am i

when i’m all alone

no one to see me in free fall

***

who am i

without you

speaks more than a thousand i love yous

***

who am i

an existential crisis 

beneath the armour

and storyline

***

who am i 

without your version

telling me what part to play

authenticity replaced by fear

***

who am i

a dream

a mirage

or divine creation

***

who am i

when my needs are met

when my heart is grateful

and my mind at ease

***

who am i 

when rejected

neglected

unmet & unseen

***

who am i 

under all the labels

the opinions of others

raw and vulnerable 

***

i am brave

even when scared

fear is a call to courage

***

i am honourable

even when betrayed

my integrity never falters

***

i am kind

even when faced with cruelty

i see the pain underneath

***

i am generous 

even after being used

i give without strings

***

i am honest 

even when lied to

never having to look over my shoulder

the truth is easier to remember

***

i am hopeful 

even in heartbreak 

love is always the right choice

***

i am forgiving

even when let down

we all show up the best we can

***

i am grateful

even when disappointed

trusting in divine grace 

***

i am at peace

even when surrounded by turmoil

anchored in my be-ing

***

i am strong

even when i feel defeated

showing up when it’s hard

***

i am free

even when i feel trapped

the cage is only in my mind

***

i am light

even when fumbling in the dark

inextinguishable eternally

***

i am your heart 

your mirror 

your challenge

and your beloved

together we are…

forever

Forgiveness

forgiveness

such a sweet, tender gift

we give ourselves

lost in blame,

shame and bitterness

we lose our capacity for love

love cannot flourish

when hatred is present

contempt blocks and binds

our spirits

embrace the sadness

that lies beneath our sacred anger

a broken heart

is an open heart

savour the blessings

of pain

our greatest teacher

see our hurt

mirrored by others

do not hold tightly to suffering

do not curl up with it

like a warm blanket

that comforts and soothes

rather it obscures

a sticky illusion

trapping us

preventing our ascension

there is no bounty in grasping

clinging to righteousness

which leaves our hands full

unable to receive love

there is much work to do

to unravel what is ours to hold

and what to hand back to another

release what is not yours

there is no bypass

no avoidance offered

the only way past

is through

sit with the discomfort

learn the art

of beautiful boundaries

an act of love

for ourselves and others

hold your truth

and another’s

with compassion

both are messengers

delivering wisdom

do not get lost in the storylines

the symptoms

the excuses

journey within

seek the source

the ancient scar

that sits beneath our anger

where do we need to heal

to apply the medicine of love

release fear

so we can forgive

find the wound

touch the tender sadness

hold ourselves in a gentle embrace

no judgement

of how we choose to heal

pain is a sacred invitation

a gift of the heart

lean in

let go

allow love to transform

move freely

like a powerful tide

ebbing and flowing

nourishing

in the words of Sarah Blondin:

“breathe

be

receive

breathe

be

receive

breathe

be

receive”

🙏🏻

The Wounding

“Your word travels the entirety of space and reaches my cells which are my stars then goes to yours which are my light.”

~Frida Kahlo

I thought my heart irrevocably broken

That I would never again feel whole

Each shattered piece

Piercing

Bleeding

A hurt so intense

I thought I might die

When you kiss my wound

It stings

The delicious pain

Of being brought back to life

Will I ever trust again?

Betraying myself

Trying to love someone too broken to receive it

Am I too broken now to receive your love?

I sprinkled my wounds

With fairy dust and sparkles

Pretended to be fierce

Beyond reach

To those who sought to harm me

The same who once claimed to love me

Still…

The arrow got through

My armour disguised as enlightenment

True love doesn’t require an armouring

Does it?

But what do I know of true love…

I only know betrayal

Lies and deceit

Frost bite

Disguised as affection

Abandonment

Disguised as support

Bullying

Disguised as protection

And then you come along

Tending to all my wounds

With such delicate care and devotion

So gentle and reverent

You hold my heart

Tenderly

I push you away

Again and again

Yet you remain steadfast

And dedicated

Courageous and strong

Afraid of losing you

I ran away

Before another wounding

Another devastating loss

That would surely destroy me this time

We were destined

To find our way back together

To traverse this love

This life

Hand in hand

Healing each other

Along the way

I can shed my heavy armour

Finally

You remind me

Of who I am

Underneath all the wounds

Of my strength

My courage

My capacity for love

You know heartbreak and betrayal

Intimately

Yet you love with such stubborn loyalty

Showing me my heart is safe in your hands

I thought I knew what love was

I had every exact detail written in stone

What a fool I was

Loving and embracing

each other’s and our own perfect imperfections

Trusting each other to hold our vulnerability

A life of

Intense soul shifting passion

Deep belly laughs into the wee hours of dawn

Blissful sleep wrapped in each others arms

Sexy adventures

Sharing our hopes and dreams

Our pain and fears

Growing in truth

Falling deeper in love

Every single day

Challenging each other to

Evolve

Transcend

Release stale versions

Of who we became

After so much wounding

I have finally found my home

In you

In us

And I am here to stay.

Falling in love

falling in love with life again

the rawness of the wounds healing

endless possibilities

laid out before me

a return to love

remembrance of my strength

beauty

trust

no need to hustle for my worth

nothing more to prove

I see clearly now

standing naked in the moonlight

surrounded by electricity

sensuality

a lust for life

my appetite returned

no more starvation

a feast upon me

I am whole

feel my passion

I am yours

but never owned

possess me

but don’t control

I am water

grasping can’t hold me

swim beside me

bathe deep inside

soak me into your consciousness

I will be forever

on your mind

you can’t let me go

I am a part of you now

Layers

“Releasing layers of pain” ~Painting by Sheritta Rogers

A spark of possibility

Exciting wonderment

What lies ahead?

Another layer reveals itself

Beneath the surface 

Sadness for what was

What could have been 

New beginnings illuminate the shadow

Fear, an armouring, folding in

A call to courage 

To remain open hearted

Vulnerable, honest

Like a child

Before the heartbreak of trauma

Authenticity requires trust

Trust is an honour bestowed

Not granted without enquiry

Consistent, generous acts of love

No strings, no ulterior motives

True love feels safe

Like a warm embrace

No benefit of the doubt 

For where there is doubt

There is a reason

No one is entitled to hear our stories 

Trust is a gift of the heart

A sacred invitation 

To meet in the soft vulnerable place

To show up in all our shades

To share our healing 

Holding space for each other

As we journey through the layers of our pain

Surrendering to the flow 

Allowing another to witness our shadow

These are the qualities of a true love story

Worthy of our precious hearts

To run and hide

Is to deny ourselves 

The nurturing of love

Isolation, distraction, shame

Punishment for our hurt

Love is the antidote

Peel back the layers

Uncover the tender spots

Bathe them in forgiveness

Compassion 

Release what no longer serves us…

Holds us back from stepping into the glory of who we are

Our divine essence

Receive the invitation

To open 

To surrender

To allow 

To trust 

Step into the heart space

Risk it all and show up fully

Our gifts are beautiful, unique offerings 

Share them fearlessly

No one loves quite like we do

Let us start with ourselves.

Namaste 🙏