Tag Archives: loyalty

The Perfect Couple….. Behind closed doors.

β€œIn your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” 

~ Rumi

Thousands of moons ago, adorned with flowers and coconuts, our spirits collided in a most delicious way.

I was a child in the art of love…fearful, guarded, sassy.

You were all grown up, seeking to draw out the woman in me.

I left you so many times without your knowing. I would flee into fear during the night and return by morning, renewed in courage.

My mental bags were always packed. This our private joke.

Thousands of sunrises ago, we made the promise to align our paths and share this journey of love… the mermaid and the sailor.

Our love manifested two precious souls completing our little family.

I’ve loved you for nearly half my life, even when I’ve hated you.

You’ve shown me eternal love and patience, even when you’ve hated me.

Respect has never waned…. never deliberately cutting each other’s hearts, taking pieces away.

We leave each other whole, honouring what is sacred within us.

Our passions have brought us together and torn us apart.

You’ve honoured my need to swim away and explore the depths of my spirit, even when you feared I wouldn’t return.

You had faith I would return…. renewed, whole.

You’ve cherished me, tended to my wounds, encouraged my awakening.

I‘m reminded of the words of Rumi

“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.”

You fan my flames. For this I will always be thankful.

Your strength and steady patience is my aspiration.

Your integrity is limitless. Your beauty awe-inspiring.

What seeds I must have planted to enjoy the splendour of your love….

I dedicate myself to always be worthy.

In ignorance, we’ve abandoned each other in moments of need.

Tantrums (always mine), anger, isolation, icy rivers separating us.

We’ve endured…. prevailed, grown stronger.

Every day I choose you. Every day I love you more and more.

Every day I aspire to love you with all the love that exists in the universe.

Many days I fail you. Some days we fail each other.

Life often gets in the way of our great love. We forget how rare and precious it is.

We choose distraction and worry… gratitude nowhere to be found.

But we always find our way back to each other.

Our commitment to this love is made again and again.

That’s the secret to everlasting joy…

To wake up and decide each morning to show up, be fully present and bask in the glory of love.

Our divinity will carry us into our next lives together, forever and ever.

Happy anniversary, my love.

Your crazy-ass wife, Jana πŸ’

Braving the Wild Seas


β€œYou cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” 
― William Faulkner

As 2018 comes to a close, I’m left reeling from another year of growth and changes, both small and monumental. I feel pulled in so many directions, I struggle to remain centred. I’m, at times, overwhelmed and sad, but also inspired, empowered, determined.

I feel a deep longing to swim out of the safe and familiar harbour and explore the world with this newly recognised power, but find I am clinging to what’s safe and comfortable.

I’ve spent this last year cleansing, removing all that weighs me down and keeps me small. I’ve stood up for myself and spoken my truth. I’ve set clear boundaries that honour and nurture my spirit. I’ve surrounded myself with people who are growing and expanding. I’m inspired by those who are fierce in their dedication to raising their vibration and fulfilling their dreams, despite, sometimes, crippling fear.

Yet, I’m consumed by grief. Am I grieving the woman I used to be? That person who shrank so others could feel more comfortable, who kept quiet when sexually harassed or abused so as not to make a fuss, who stayed mired in distraction so I didn’t have to face the fact I wasn’t living up to my potential or doing the things that feed my soul?

Perhaps I’m grieving those I’ve left behind. The precious, frustrating, consuming relationships that once served me, but ultimately led to discomfort. I’m painfully aware that not everyone is meant to walk this entire journey with me for we all have our own higher purpose to fulfil. Some I meet at forks in the road and we happily skip along for a while, but then need to part ways in order to continue on our own paths. Others come along who resonate on a frequency that inspires expansion – challenges my fixed ideas about myself and the world around me. These are my tribe, my soul-mates.

So, 2019…. what do you have in store for me? What adventures at sea will you take me on that bring exciting new chapters to my storyline? Who will stand bravely beside me as we journey out to face life’s storms? Who will be lost at sea? Who will choose to stay behind anchored in the safety of the harbour? These unknowns both scare and excite me.

I love what Brene Brown says in her book, ‘Braving the Wilderness…’

Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness — an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.”

My affirmations for 2019: To bravely stand in the sacred; to continue to expand and challenge my spirit; to nurture the relationships with my fierce tribe of fellow seekers who have taught me about courage, loyalty and strength; and to always stand up and speak out for myself and others in the face of apathy and toxic ignorance.

What are your affirmations for 2019?

Namaste πŸ™πŸ»