Tag Archives: laughter

Falling in love

falling in love with life again

the rawness of the wounds healing

endless possibilities

laid out before me

a return to love

remembrance of my strength

beauty

trust

no need to hustle for my worth

nothing more to prove

I see clearly now

standing naked in the moonlight

surrounded by electricity

sensuality

a lust for life

my appetite returned

no more starvation

a feast upon me

I am whole

feel my passion

I am yours

but never owned

possess me

but don’t control

I am water

grasping can’t hold me

swim beside me

bathe deep inside

soak me into your consciousness

I will be forever

on your mind

you can’t let me go

I am a part of you now

Awakening

Electricity flows through my veins

I am awakening

Deep slumber disguised as death

I had forgotten this feeling

Lost to numbness

So much betrayal

The flow can’t reach me in my armour

I am naked now

Raw

The spark has returned

Every piece of me alive

Every touch starts a fire

Every look sends me into fantasy

Every thought of your hands on me

Lights me up deep inside

Talk dirty to me

Tell me your secrets

What do you dream of?

What scares you?

What opens your heart?

What feeds you?

Take your clothes off

Let me kiss your wounds

Stand in the fire with me

Let it devour us

Let’s get swept away

Surrender to the frenzy

Higher and higher

Pierce me with your gaze

Hold me there

Not yet

Wait for me

Divine release

Slow return to dust

Bodies entwined

Emptied

Satiated

Sacred caresses

As we talk, laugh, greet the dawn

Bare souls and bodies

Sweet slumber.

Until we awaken again….

Reclaiming My Laugh

“Laughter connects you with people. It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you’re just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.” ~John Cleese

Yesterday I had a realisation…. I’ve lost my laugh. Or rather, I gave it away.

He hated my laugh… the too-loud witch cackle.

I learned to hate my laugh too.

I spent the past 20 years trying to change my laugh. To make it quieter, less annoying, but in the process, I lost it.

Losing my laugh meant I lost my deep capacity for joy. Suppressing my laugh, holding it in my throat, preventing its escape shut down my ability to communicate love.

How dare he take my laugh. How could I have betrayed myself so savagely as to allow him to have it?

It is in the smallest of moments that pieces of ourselves are stripped away. The little comments, criticisms, the rejections along the way….

One day you wake up and don’t recognise yourself. So many pieces missing.

I didn’t know that this isn’t what love looks like.

True love would never take your laugh.

Of all the betrayals, indignities, and disrespect, this one hurts the most.

Today, I am reclaiming my laugh. I will laugh as loud and as deep as the moment calls for, or for no reason at all.

For anyone who cannot revel in my unfettered joy, who lacks the capacity to experience intense emotions, including bliss, has no place in my life!

I will never again betray myself as to dim my light to enable another’s need to hide in the dark.

I am reclaiming all pieces of my soul that were lost, stolen, given away.

This new chapter will begin with getting to know myself again… the woman I abandoned so many years ago.

And it will include so much laughter, I’ll never need to do a sit-up again!

Namaste.

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