Monthly Archives: December 2014



“Only two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity…and I’m not so sure about the Universe.”  ~ Albert Einstein ~

It is only when I accept that I DON’T KNOW everything that I become humble enough to learn new ideas.

I practice saying, “I don’t know” as a means of remaining humble and teachable.  It is a lot harder than it seems.  The real challenge is saying it when you truly believe you do know something.  Say it anyway and watch your ego gristle.  It is helpful to observe the conflict that arises when the ego rears its ugly head and protests that you DO KNOW!

Being liberated from “Know-it-all-itis” is a great place to be if your intention is to learn more about any subject, yourself especially.

Practice saying, “I don’t know” as often as you can today.  Then sit back and watch your ego come to life. 


poison copy

I made a decision long ago that no matter who was offering the big glass of poison, I wasn’t going to drink it.  Seems like a perfectly logical decision, right?  Who would drink poison deliberately?  Well….turns out most of us do.

When I say poison, I mean a big, overflowing glass of guilt and manipulation.  The giver might be completely unaware of what they’re serving up, or maybe they know exactly what it is.  Either way, we still drink it. 

The main ingredients in this particular brand of poison are “should” and “have to.”  There is an underlying component of obligation or indebtedness that makes us feel we can’t say no.  Another aspect is our need to feel good about ourselves by people-pleasing.  However, looking outside of ourselves for validation is always a recipe for unhappiness. 

When we give out of obligation, there is usually some bitterness there.  When we give in order to boost our flailing self-esteem, there is manipulation added in.  We create our own special brand of poison and serve it right back.  Is it any wonder so many of us suffer from some form of illness, anxiety or depression?

Christmas is an especially rich time for the poison industry.  We’re all running around trying to find presents for everyone in our lives with, often, very limited funds.  Then, there are the obligatory functions we have to attend.  Instead of being an exciting time of year, most people dread the holidays and can’t wait for them to be over.

I made the decision long ago to abstain from drinking poison.  This sobriety meant challenging the status quo of society and ruffled quite a few feathers.  It meant that some people weren’t going to like me very much.  Some would downright despise me.  It also meant that I had to look within for feelings of self-worth and validation.

It’s not the easy path, but it is the way to freedom and serenity.  I say no to what I don’t want.  I don’t attend functions I don’t want to attend.  I don’t give my time and energy to anything out of obligation.  If I can’t give it without resentment, I don’t give it.  Some call this selfishness.  So what?  I think selfishness has gotten a bad rap.  Is it selfish to say no to manipulation?  Is it selfish to not look to others for approval?  Is it selfish to refuse to go on the big guilt trip?  If so, then I am extraordinarily selfish and proud of it.   

When I do give, however, it’s motivated by love and a true desire to be of benefit.  The recipients can feel that and give loving energy in return.  This organic exchange is what I cultivate in my life and, as such, I live a magnificent life filled with extraordinary people. 

I highly encourage you to explore your “selfish” side.



“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”  ~ Henry Longfellow ~

The holiday season is among us and I’ve really started to feel the amped up anxiety in the air.  Everyone (myself included) is running around just trying to get everything done.  The only excited energy is coming from the kids.  For the rest of us adults, we’re just stressed. 

With this added stress, I’ve noticed the road rage increasing.  Just yesterday, I was driving exactly the speed limit through town as there are cops and speed cameras everywhere with their radar out and a zero tolerance.  I had this guy behind me driving right up my bum.  He was so close I was afraid he’d hit me.  He suddenly jerked his steering wheel to the right and crossed the center line to pass me, barely escaping a head-on collision.

As he was passing, I could see he was screaming at me and giving me the Finger.  The intense rage was all over his face.  For the first time ever, my initial response was not one of indignant anger.  It was actually a feeling of sadness.  I was overcome with compassion for this man who was obviously deeply unhappy.  His suffering must be so great, he could do nothing other than vent it out to everyone around him.  The passenger in his car was a woman who was also clearly unhappy and fearful.  He went on to tailgate and dangerously pass several cars in front of me.  I sent him as much loving energy as I could and hoped they got home safely.

I was suddenly profoundly aware of my knee-jerk compassion response and felt quite uplifted.  It was honestly a first for me.  In the past, I’ve been able to get to the compassion… eventually, but it was never my first reaction.  When faced with an angry bully, I usually go unconscious and mirror that hostility back.  Having this opportunity to see my own growth and an opening heart, was such a wonderful gift of awareness.

I encourage you to look for opportunities to give the gift compassion to others this holiday season.

Blessings, Jana


fear copy

I can not remember the last time I was actually frozen in fear.  I wonder if it’s ever actually happened.  I’ve felt fear, sometimes enormous fear, but it has never paralyzed me before. 

A few weeks back I was working on my book proposal, which I foolishly thought would be so easy.  I thought writing the book would be the challenge.  The part where I had to really sell myself and my book idea is where I got completely stuck.  I was suddenly gripped with a debilitating fear that told me I had no business writing a book!  Who was I to think I had anything valuable to say or contribute to the world?!  I was really kidding myself!  No one would ever want to publish my silly, little book!  Thoughts like these continued to swirl in my head, growing ever larger and louder. 

Other people’s well-meaning comments came through as well.  I received comments such as: “Well, it’s a long shot, so don’t get your hopes up;” and “I’d wait a few years and see if you can build a bigger audience with your blog first;” and my favorite, “Yeah….good luck with that (insert sarcasm here)!”  All of these comments were telling me to be more “realistic.”  I made the decision right then and there to scrap the whole project.

Instead of feeling relief, I was flooded with despair.  I spent about a week wallowing in self-pity.  Then, one morning, I woke up and asked myself when I had ever turned my back on a challenge?  When had I ever allowed other people’s opinions to dictate the direction of my journey?  The answer is never…and I wasn’t about to start now!

I sat down to write my proposal and it was shaky at first.  The words weren’t exactly flowing out of me.  I pushed through, knowing from experience that if I just kept writing, the words would eventually come… and they did.  I submitted the proposal and spent the rest of the day frantically checking my email for confirmation from Hay House that it had been received.  Late in the afternoon, I got their email, which said they got it.  It was then that I realized I had been holding my breath all day.  I let out a big sigh of relief.  I had done it. 

The reminder here is that FEAR IS A LIAR and I must always take action, no matter what!  How to determine which voice is fear and which is intuition?  Fear is the screamer.  Intuition never yells.