Tag Archives: support

New Moon Ruminations 🌚 

attachment, blessings, bliss, connection, energy, Fear, freedom, gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, healing, Inspiration, joy, life, light, love, magic, marriage, Overcoming challenges, passion, powerful, relationships, resilience, strength, suffering, Transformation, trust, truth, vulnerability, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

there is a tenderness in my heart 

that feels like it’s breaking

***

breaking apart or breaking open

feels like the former

not the latter

my tears a baptism

***

my life is a blessing

this sadness feels like ingratitude

shame and surrender

***

i think too much

this i know for sure

i feel too much

a gift and a curse

***

craving and distrusting love

concurrently

***

enjoying solitude

longing for companionship

***

loving my sanctuary

wishing to find my home

in another’s heart

***

yearning for the intimacy

that only comes with navigating conflict

facing life’s myriad challenges together

***

my nervous system is wired for betrayal

and often forgets how to breathe

***

no one to save me from myself

i am my own champion 

tired of holding back the storm

already proven my strength 

***

will i find a soft landing in another

finally rest in the sanctity of union

to hold sacred

each other’s hearts

***

confusion feels like plunder

indifference like rejection

am i too fragile for this game

***

retreat feels safer

the armour battle-worn 

too heavy to carry

too edgy to put it down

***

raw

weary

i still believe in love

despite it all

***

hope springs eternal

and anticipation stirs within me

is my person still coming 

or already here

Forgiveness

affirmation, amends, attachment, awakening, blessings, compassion, ego, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, healing, health, Inspiration, letting go, life, light, love, open hearted, Overcoming challenges, powerful, prayer, rage, relationships, releasing, resilience, shame, strength, suffering, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, Wellness, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

forgiveness

such a sweet, tender gift

we give ourselves

lost in blame,

shame and bitterness

we lose our capacity for love

love cannot flourish

when hatred is present

contempt blocks and binds

our spirits

embrace the sadness

that lies beneath our sacred anger

a broken heart

is an open heart

savour the blessings

of pain

our greatest teacher

see our hurt

mirrored by others

do not hold tightly to suffering

do not curl up with it

like a warm blanket

that comforts and soothes

rather it obscures

a sticky illusion

trapping us

preventing our ascension

there is no bounty in grasping

clinging to righteousness

which leaves our hands full

unable to receive love

there is much work to do

to unravel what is ours to hold

and what to hand back to another

release what is not yours

there is no bypass

no avoidance offered

the only way past

is through

sit with the discomfort

learn the art

of beautiful boundaries

an act of love

for ourselves and others

hold your truth

and another’s

with compassion

both are messengers

delivering wisdom

do not get lost in the storylines

the symptoms

the excuses

journey within

seek the source

the ancient scar

that sits beneath our anger

where do we need to heal

to apply the medicine of love

release fear

so we can forgive

find the wound

touch the tender sadness

hold ourselves in a gentle embrace

no judgement

of how we choose to heal

pain is a sacred invitation

a gift of the heart

lean in

let go

allow love to transform

move freely

like a powerful tide

ebbing and flowing

nourishing

in the words of Sarah Blondin:

“breathe

be

receive

breathe

be

receive

breathe

be

receive”

🙏🏻

Follow your Bliss

affirmation, awakening, blessings, bliss, compassion, connection, energy, experience, freedom, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, health, Inspiration, joy, life, light, love, magic, meditation, open hearted, passion, powerful, prayer, releasing, resilience, strength, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, Wellness, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”

~Joseph Campbell.

Can you feel bliss knocking at the door of your soul?

You’ll feel it knocking as the sun shines on your face

As the gentle breeze blows across your skin

As you melt into strong arms, hugging you tightly

As you fold into cozy blankets in your soft cloud-like bed on a chilly night

As you sit in front of a roaring fire feeling its warm glow

As you stare deeply into the eyes of your beloved

As you feel your heart open wide to all the bliss in the universe

As you stroke the soft fur of your pet

As you sit quietly in meditation

Watching the gorgeous pink sky as the sun rises

And the golden orange radiance as the sun sets

As you gaze in wonder at the starlit sky

And the rising of the orange harvest full moon

Feeling your beautiful baby squeeze your finger and smile for the first time

The feeling of your baby sleeping peacefully on your chest

Listening to the sound of waves crashing on the shore

The nourishing feeling of warm soup on a cold Winter’s night

That first flush of infatuation

Then falling madly in love

The joy of deep belly laughs

Of dancing wildly

The peacefulness of laying on the earth amongst the trees

The satiated bliss after an orgasm

The cold, crisp, blue skies in Autumn

And the red, gold and orange leaves before they fall to the ground

The newborn lambs in Spring as they hop around the paddock with pure joy

The delicious slumber after a good cry

The glorious relaxation of a head massage

The sweetness on your tongue after the first bite of your favourite dessert

What brings you bliss?

Gratitude is knocking at the door….

Will you let it in?

Can’t Resist You

blessings, bliss, connection, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Inspiration, joy, life, light, love, lust, magic, open hearted, passion, powerful, relationships, releasing, strength, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You came crashing into my heart

A gift from the heavens

The intensity of you

Catches my breath

You claimed me

Caught me in your grasp

An arrow to my heart

I bleed for you

I tried to run

My fear of being broken

Again

Consumes me

You hold onto me

With fierce determination

Dedication

Still I resist you

Can this love be true

Our souls collide

Merging together

As destiny laughs

Have we loved before

I dream of you

Your dream of us

Blissfully us

Awakens my sleeping heart

Devoting your life to me

Without a second’s hesitation

So calm

And brave

Teach me how to love

Like this

Emerging from the dark

To swim in your light

Bathing in your essence

Purifying my spirit

With your truth

Be gentle with my heart

The glue

Holding it together

Is barely dry

Can I trust you

To protect this sacred love

To hold it with courage

Reverence

Tenderness

I can’t resist you

Any longer

Take all of me

I am yours

You are mine

We are us

Grow with me

Fly with me

Dance with me

Hold on tight

It is time

To step into a new adventure

Together my love

Forever ❤️

Shadow

attachment, awakening, bliss, calling, compassion, connection, energy, experience, Fear, grief, growth, healing, letting go, life, light, love, Overcoming challenges, powerful, prayer, rage, releasing, shame, strength, suffering, suicide, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

All alone with my shadow
For far too long
I have been swallowed up
Only my shadow remains
Empty shoes where I used to stand
A formless fraud
Pretending myself into being
Laughing, crying, raging
Anything to feel alive
So so tired now
Yet unable to find solace in sleep
Peace evades me
I keep getting back up
After each knock down
I can’t seem to help it
My longing for love is greater than my sorrow
The seductive void calls to me
Trust, trust, trust…
My mantra
Will the light return?
Or have I finally been extinguished?
Sweet surrender is where I’ll find my bliss.

Because of you…

attachment, awakening, blessings, bliss, compassion, connection, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, Inspiration, joy, letting go, life, light, love, lust, magic, open hearted, passion, powerful, relationships, releasing, sex, strength, trust, truth, Uncategorized, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.” ~Rumi

You entered my sunlit dreams

offering your heart

so open and warm

I melted into you

So steady and sure

you held onto me

with a strength that calmed my fear

Your devious charm

seducing me

with belly laughs

and innuendo

Your voice

your moans

the way you sigh my name

lights a fire inside me

Throwing caution to the wind

with eyes and hearts open

allowing our souls to find their way back together

We have loved each other

for eons

reconnecting with so much ease

letting the How unfold

as it is meant to

Our illusion of control

destiny laughs at us

no point in resistance

the stars are aligned

My healing heart

bursting open

ready to receive

the magic of you

I want to hide

drawing into myself

you seek me out

pulling me closer

I am braver

because of you

I am stronger

because of you

you are my sanctuary

You lift me up

hold me tight

blow my wings open

launching me free

Always flying back to you

where I belong

tether me

to your heart

Side by side

we journey together

great adventures await us

growing and glowing

You are my forever

my light

my love

always

Falling in love

affirmation, attachment, awakening, blessings, bliss, calling, connection, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, growth, happiness, healing, health, Inspiration, joy, letting go, life, light, love, lust, magic, open hearted, passion, relationships, releasing, resilience, sex, strength, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, Wellness, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

falling in love with life again

the rawness of the wounds healing

endless possibilities

laid out before me

a return to love

remembrance of my strength

beauty

trust

no need to hustle for my worth

nothing more to prove

I see clearly now

standing naked in the moonlight

surrounded by electricity

sensuality

a lust for life

my appetite returned

no more starvation

a feast upon me

I am whole

feel my passion

I am yours

but never owned

possess me

but don’t control

I am water

grasping can’t hold me

swim beside me

bathe deep inside

soak me into your consciousness

I will be forever

on your mind

you can’t let me go

I am a part of you now

In Celebration of 28 Years Clean & Sober

affirmation, attachment, awakening, blessings, bliss, calling, compassion, connection, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, healing, health, Inspiration, joy, letting go, life, light, love, magic, marriage, open hearted, Overcoming challenges, powerful, relationships, releasing, resilience, shame, sobriety, soul tribe, strength, suffering, suicide, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, Wellness, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today I celebrate 28 years clean and sober. I’ll be honest… I sometimes take my sobriety for granted as it’s been my way of life for over half of my life and most days doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment. But this year I really earned it!!!

I’ve been savagely betrayed by someone who was supposed to be my person.

I’ve walked away from a life I spent the past nearly 24 years building.

I’ve left my gorgeous mansion on the hill and am now renting a tiny cottage on a farm in Nelson; and I left most of my belongings behind so I can travel light.

I won’t lie… I woke up today full of terror and despair. Some days it just feels all too much. The universe has thrown nearly every challenge my way this past year and today I’m feeling exhausted and defeated.

BUT, in other news…. my beautiful daughter is well on her way to recovering her lost joy and is finding her passions and discovering her gifts.

My amazing son is happy, healthy and off to University in Auckland and enjoying his new adult life.

I have my precious fur babies back with me and they have been the antidote to my broken heart as nobody loves as deeply and unconditionally as dogs!

I am surrounded by so much love and support from both my soul whanau and even those I don’t know very well or haven’t really connected with in years. The outpouring of love from people far and wide has given me so much nourishment for my soul and hope for the future.

As sad and scared as I am, I also feel such a deep gratitude for this precious life and for all the blessings of the Universe that continue to carry me through this challenging time.

I’ve been presented with so many exciting opportunities to live my dream life and I KNOW that everything that was holding me back, weighing me down and poisoning my spirit needed to be stripped away so I could fly free toward my destiny.

Words fail to express how much I love and appreciate everyone who has supported me through this painful chapter.

You continually prop me up when I am collapsing, slap me silly when I am wallowing in self pity, tell me the truth when I’m lost in victim consciousness, encourage me when I lose my confidence, embrace me when I can’t stop crying, hold loving space for me when I’m enraged and just need to express it out loud, make me laugh out loud when I’m taking it all way too seriously, and when I feel like giving up, you remind me of my purpose and what I’m here to offer to the world.

So, thank you to everyone who has shown up for me this past year and I vow to honour your love by showing up and doing the work so I can live my greatest life and be that guiding light for others as you’ve been for me.

Namaste. 🙏🏻💖✨🥰🕉