Tag Archives: loss

Is it you?

attachment, bliss, connection, energy, Fear, happiness, love, lust, magic, passion, relationships, sex, Transformation, trust, truth, vulnerability, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Art: “Leaning Lovers” by Julia Watkins

i dreamt of you

you came gently

yet with force

*

you disarmed me

undressed me

held me naked and raw

*

you caught me

as i tried to run

reminding me

that i was safe

*

your strength

your passion

your laugh

intoxicate me

*

you hold me tight

whispering love in my ear

playing melodies with my heart

i sing out for you

*

time and distance our enemy

a great loss on the horizon

destiny laughs at my fears

are you mine to keep

*

am i brave enough

to stand still in the magic

as it reveals our future

*

i am yours for the taking

will you claim me

or drift away in a dream

*

a great love awaits me

this i know for sure

i feel you in the ethers

*

is it you

finally you 

forever you

COMING UNDONE

attachment, awakening, blessings, bliss, connection, energy, Fear, freedom, gratitude, happiness, healing, Inspiration, joy, letting go, life, light, love, lust, magic, open hearted, Overcoming challenges, powerful, relationships, releasing, sex, soul tribe, strength, suffering, Transformation, trust, truth, vulnerability, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

my heart

shattered in pieces

unrecognisable

broken open

*

the fight of my life

freedom comes at a cost

but my soul is not for sale

*

feeling alone in union

is its own kind of prison

swallowed up in another’s orbit

powerless and afraid

*

breaking free was my salvation

a new world opened

a different kind of terror

*

my broken heart

displayed on the altar

proof I had the courage to love

a testament of faith

*

years of battle

finding my voice 

discovering my worth 

beyond the hustle for validation

*

aging in reverse

freed from the burden of a life

not meant for me

too small to contain my spirit

*

love without strings

love that feels like freedom

love that opens the heart

and quiets the mind

love without cruelty

love that gives more than it takes

*

my ravaged heart

once emptied by thieves

now ravished by love

full

content

whole

*

seeing only bliss 

where once was fear

harmony

where once was chaos

liberation

where once was captivity

*

blessed beyond measure

loved and held sacred

in divinity and pleasure

*

coming undone

rebuilt anew

every cell of my being

activated

by the magic of you. 

*

THE SHEDDING

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Looking up at the Autumn leaves

With their shades of gold, fiery red and orange,

I sit in awe and wondering

Does the tree mourn the loss of so many pieces of itself?

As the leaves fall

Reflecting on all my lost parts

Were they ever truly lost?

Or were they shed to make space for something more beautiful, 

More vibrant

More whole?

Holding on so tightly 

Resisting the release of these dying layers

Forgetting the wisdom of the trees

Who know that their renewal in the Spring requires this shedding

Trusting that I will grow anew 

That I am making space for new versions of my spirit to reveal itself

Trusting in the sacred process of death and rebirth

Essential for the evolution of all living things 

Each death a divine remembrance

A returning to Source

Each new blossom 

Offering a renaissance

An awakening

A transmission of wisdom

Held reverently within each cell

I need only surrender

To the agony of loss

My heart breaking open

As love comes rushing in

Filling the cracks

Allowing an unfurling

Breathing in the light and transforming it to food for the soul

Standing tall

Rooted deep into the Earth

Swaying majestically in the wind

Moving with the storms 

Bending but not breaking

Resting quietly in the cold

Holding the warmth of the Summer sun in my being

Trusting that I am fulfilling my purpose

That I am an essential part of the sacred geometry of life

Trust

Truth

Suffering and Bliss 

What leaves can I release to the shedding?

The old stories, 

The untruths that run on a loop

The dying parts that need to be sacrificed to create a sacred container 

In which to nurture my rebirth

A new dream

And way of being

Allowing my destiny to emerge

To let go

And receive.

Shadow

attachment, awakening, bliss, calling, compassion, connection, energy, experience, Fear, grief, growth, healing, letting go, life, light, love, Overcoming challenges, powerful, prayer, rage, releasing, shame, strength, suffering, suicide, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

All alone with my shadow
For far too long
I have been swallowed up
Only my shadow remains
Empty shoes where I used to stand
A formless fraud
Pretending myself into being
Laughing, crying, raging
Anything to feel alive
So so tired now
Yet unable to find solace in sleep
Peace evades me
I keep getting back up
After each knock down
I can’t seem to help it
My longing for love is greater than my sorrow
The seductive void calls to me
Trust, trust, trust…
My mantra
Will the light return?
Or have I finally been extinguished?
Sweet surrender is where I’ll find my bliss.

The Abyss

affirmation, attachment, awakening, blessings, bliss, calling, compassion, connection, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, gratitude, grief, growth, happiness, healing, Inspiration, joy, letting go, life, light, love, open hearted, Overcoming challenges, passion, powerful, prayer, rage, releasing, resilience, shame, strength, suffering, suicide, Transformation, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability, wisdom, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
“Sorrow prepares you for joy.
It violently sweeps everything out of your house,
so that new joy can find space to enter.
It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart,
so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten roots,
so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.
Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart,
far better things will take their place.” 
― Rumi

Today I awoke breathless

My heart trying to beat through vice-like grief

Choked by tears

A call to the abyss

A voice asks me why

Why take that next breath

That next step

I know not why

I just know I must

I am lost

Adrift at sea

Rudderless

My heart is broken

But still loves

The loss is immeasurable

Yet there is relief in loss

Once a hostage to bitterness

Betrayal after betrayal

Left me an empty shell

Rage giving way to numbness

Busyness my costume

Hiding my dying spirit

Leaving was no longer a choice

But a necessity

My heart does not choose to beat

It just knows that it must

My body was carried away

And dropped into my deepest shadow

The pull to sink into the abyss was so powerful

So seductive

I could almost taste the relief

But I swam

With a ferocity I scarcely recognised

The heart finds a way to beat

No matter the grief

I must continue to breathe now

To love

As if my life depends on it

Because it does

I will open the dam

And let all the tears fall

I will allow the sea of loss

To flow over me

Through me

Around me

Until I am buoyant

Saturated by all the love that exists

My heart will beat

My lungs will breathe

Whilst I sit with my sadness

Trusting in the process

Of transformation

I am being re-birthed

And it fucking hurts!