Tag Archives: trauma

If they wanted to…they would.

Oof! This lands hard

But… but… but…

Maybe they’re scared

Maybe they’re busy

Maybe they’re overwhelmed with big feelings

Maybe they’re just not that into you

Maybe you’ve been kidding yourself

Maybe you mistook emotional unavailability for confidence and mystery

The dopamine hit your nervous system is wired for

Maybe you settled for close enough

Because the loneliness felt bitter

Maybe you hoped they’d finally show up

Unarmored, vulnerable

If you just waited longer

Gave more

Gave it all

The thrill of the chase

Intoxicating 

Familiar

A fine distraction from the shadow work you’d rather avoid 

A beautiful dream

Unrequited connection

Can true love exist in a one-sided paradox?

The illusion of safety

Shut-down disguised as strength

Evasiveness disguised as busyness

Avoidance disguised as independence

A side option disguised as friendship

The triangulation you never agreed to

The exit strategy you ignored

Just a figment of your imagination 

The feelings you swallowed because you learned not to trust them

Your overthinking mind and oversensitive heart Wounded by indifference

And a careless hand

Withdrawal and armouring

The only safe harbour

Once again moored in heartbreak 

Christening her Se faire avoir

The real tragedy is hope

Designed to keep you hooked 

The promise of love

Dispensed sporadically

In meagre portions

Inspires craving

But never satiates

A mirage of water

Only to find it’s sand

You drink it anyway

Because you don’t recognise the difference

A deep thirst quenched

By the illusion of love

Such a silly child 

With the broken heart behind a beautiful smile

And a brave spirit

Love is all around you

Unconditionally

Infinitely

Abundantly

You need never hustle for it

For it is your birthright

You only need to let down your armour 

And let it flow through you

You are safe

You are loved

You are supported 

By a force much bigger than dreamt of in your imagination

It resides within you

Untouchable by those who wish to diminish it

You are your own true love

Always and forever ❤️

I Wonder

i wonder if you dream of me

feel me dancing around your consciousness

i wonder if you reach for me in your sleep

do you feel the emptiness

when you wake

i wonder if the thought of me

brightens your day

or does it make the space between us

feel like an ocean

i wonder if you long to feel me

in your arms

in your bed

on the tip of your tongue

i wonder if your heart is open enough

to hold all of me

or is your armour too strong

i wonder if you can remain

in the tears

the fears

and consuming passion

i wonder if the intensity of love

strengthens you

or leaves you overwhelmed

i wonder if you will ever let me in

make space for me

in your heart

or will i always remain

just outside your door

i wonder if you can meet me

in the place of wonder

are you curious about me

about us

of what we could be

i wonder if you yearn to know the why of me

to learn what makes me swoon

what elicits my craving of you

i wonder if i dreamt you up

and you are not really here

just a fantasy

of what could have been

i wonder if i can bring you

to the depths of me

or will you always be

just outside my reach 

i wonder if you will draw me closer

deeper

show me your desire

or keep me hanging

i wonder how long i can chase the shadow of you

before i face the truth

if you won’t let me touch you

i wonder if you will finally

let me go

Shadow

All alone with my shadow
For far too long
I have been swallowed up
Only my shadow remains
Empty shoes where I used to stand
A formless fraud
Pretending myself into being
Laughing, crying, raging
Anything to feel alive
So so tired now
Yet unable to find solace in sleep
Peace evades me
I keep getting back up
After each knock down
I can’t seem to help it
My longing for love is greater than my sorrow
The seductive void calls to me
Trust, trust, trust…
My mantra
Will the light return?
Or have I finally been extinguished?
Sweet surrender is where I’ll find my bliss.

Layers

“Releasing layers of pain” ~Painting by Sheritta Rogers

A spark of possibility

Exciting wonderment

What lies ahead?

Another layer reveals itself

Beneath the surface 

Sadness for what was

What could have been 

New beginnings illuminate the shadow

Fear, an armouring, folding in

A call to courage 

To remain open hearted

Vulnerable, honest

Like a child

Before the heartbreak of trauma

Authenticity requires trust

Trust is an honour bestowed

Not granted without enquiry

Consistent, generous acts of love

No strings, no ulterior motives

True love feels safe

Like a warm embrace

No benefit of the doubt 

For where there is doubt

There is a reason

No one is entitled to hear our stories 

Trust is a gift of the heart

A sacred invitation 

To meet in the soft vulnerable place

To show up in all our shades

To share our healing 

Holding space for each other

As we journey through the layers of our pain

Surrendering to the flow 

Allowing another to witness our shadow

These are the qualities of a true love story

Worthy of our precious hearts

To run and hide

Is to deny ourselves 

The nurturing of love

Isolation, distraction, shame

Punishment for our hurt

Love is the antidote

Peel back the layers

Uncover the tender spots

Bathe them in forgiveness

Compassion 

Release what no longer serves us…

Holds us back from stepping into the glory of who we are

Our divine essence

Receive the invitation

To open 

To surrender

To allow 

To trust 

Step into the heart space

Risk it all and show up fully

Our gifts are beautiful, unique offerings 

Share them fearlessly

No one loves quite like we do

Let us start with ourselves.

Namaste 🙏