love me deeper
harder
like never before
journey with me
as we pass through love’s door
there is such mystical beauty
in this union we share
you’ve captured my heart
as I stand before you bare
no hiding in shame
no pretending or fear
I am falling in love
risking exquisite tears
as I rise
I feel your judgement
quietly resenting my release
free from the shackles
that bound me to a much too small life
wings clipped
by a thousand criticisms,
rejections and betrayals
feather by feather
left crippled and afraid
until one day
with nothing left to lose
all dignity lost
I set myself free
my healing has been long
painful
messy
at times ungrounding
all over the place
up
down
moving between moods
like a toddler
and so what?!
I want to feel
all my fucking feelings
I am not afraid
I am a warrior
built for hurricanes
so spare me your judgement
disguised as concern
of how I’m choosing to heal
don’t you worry about me
check your own damn self
I am free
to laugh
to dance
to make love
to relish every single moment
the deliciously sexy ones
the joyful ones
and even the gloriously,
excruciatingly
painful ones
I am rising like the Phoenix
I will not sit down,
shut up
and behave
like a good girl “should”
I will roam free
roaring as loudly as I want
making all the mistakes
that my newfound freedom allows
risking a broken heart
if that’s what it takes to be fully alive
open hearted
vulnerable
fierce
I will not hide behind what is comfortable
safe
allowed
throwing caution to the wind
logic out the window
I will move with my soul’s longing
I will follow my passion
find my bliss
blaze the trail
take the heat
your need to push me down
make me small
diminish my light
is your own fear
holding you back
my awakening scares you
reminds you of what you’ve lost
hiding behind your rules
your safety net a prison
of your own making
put it down and join me
on this exhilarating rollercoaster
we can never know how strong we are
until we flex our muscles
grab hold of our power
our sovereignty
as free wild women
a road less travelled
but the only path to liberation
join me there
a sleeping sensual energy
has been awakened
a longing for touch
connection
resurrection
running my hands down my arms
slowly up my legs
around my soft belly
my breasts
my hips
over each hand
trailing down my waist
massaging my ass
my thighs
my tender button
loving them wholly
inviting pleasure
moving down to my feet
pressing into the soreness
a delicious ache
going deep
sacred touch to please my senses
blissful release
reverence for this beautiful vessel
taking my time
honouring every part of my body
offering gratitude
seeking forgiveness
for the neglect of youth
insecurity
judgement
this temple
my sanctuary
possessed by no one
offered only to those
strong enough to stand in my beauty
my powerful essence
my blinding light
I shine even brighter
embracing my too-muchness
my spirit
my curves
as I touch myself
stroking my body
I am infused with love
admiration for this divine machine
that serves me with devotion
no matter the carelessness
the disrespect
veneration through caress
sublime massage
healing touch
inviting the power of sensuality
by feeling into my body
quenching her thirst
feeding her craving
soft flowing movement
sweet surrender
I am whole
I am magnificent
I am love
I want to be your obsession, not your distraction
I want to weigh passionately on your mind and in your heart
I want you to crave me, to look for me in your dreams
I want you to be willing to move mountains to get to me
I want you to hold me so tight my breath catches in my throat
I want you to touch, to savour, to devour every inch of my body and soul
I want you to stand bravely by my side and face all kinds of weather…. storms as well as sunshine
I want to feel adored, safe and cherished
I want you to put your hand in mine and journey with me to higher realms
I want you to protect me… protect us, with unyielding devotion
I want you to hold my tears, not cause them
I want you to tenderly and reverently hold my heart, not break it
I want you to tell me the truth, not bludgeon me with it
I want all of you, not just the shiny parts
I want you to show me all your colours and your shadow and love me in mine
I want a sacred union of trust
I want you to join me in the vulnerable place, mine and yours
I want a cosmic love that transcends time and space
I am waiting
Come find me
“Releasing layers of pain” ~Painting by Sheritta Rogers
A spark of possibility
Exciting wonderment
What lies ahead?
Another layer reveals itself
Beneath the surface
Sadness for what was
What could have been
New beginnings illuminate the shadow
Fear, an armouring, folding in
A call to courage
To remain open hearted
Vulnerable, honest
Like a child
Before the heartbreak of trauma
Authenticity requires trust
Trust is an honour bestowed
Not granted without enquiry
Consistent, generous acts of love
No strings, no ulterior motives
True love feels safe
Like a warm embrace
No benefit of the doubt
For where there is doubt
There is a reason
No one is entitled to hear our stories
Trust is a gift of the heart
A sacred invitation
To meet in the soft vulnerable place
To show up in all our shades
To share our healing
Holding space for each other
As we journey through the layers of our pain
Surrendering to the flow
Allowing another to witness our shadow
These are the qualities of a true love story
Worthy of our precious hearts
To run and hide
Is to deny ourselves
The nurturing of love
Isolation, distraction, shame
Punishment for our hurt
Love is the antidote
Peel back the layers
Uncover the tender spots
Bathe them in forgiveness
Compassion
Release what no longer serves us…
Holds us back from stepping into the glory of who we are
Our divine essence
Receive the invitation
To open
To surrender
To allow
To trust
Step into the heart space
Risk it all and show up fully
Our gifts are beautiful, unique offerings
Share them fearlessly
No one loves quite like we do
Let us start with ourselves.
Namaste 🙏
“What if we choose love… every. single. time?
What would the world look like then?” ~Jana Joy
What if we love as much as we’re capable of loving, even if it falls short of other’s expectations or needs?
What if our insecurities and fears are the cause of our harmful behaviour and has nothing to do with others?
What if we act out just because we are hurting?
What if forgiveness for all the hurt we cause each other is a blessing that will open our hearts to loving ourselves and others more deeply?
What if we are so desperate to prove our worth by “doing” in order to hide from our feelings of worthlessness that we just can’t see another way?
What if being asked to open our hearts and rise is simply out of our capacity right now?
What if what we truly need is something we can find within ourselves and we don’t need to look to others for it?
What if our suffering is so immense, we just need to hide for a bit to feel safe?
What if we simply lack the skills to navigate through our own painful emotions so cannot hold space for others in pain?
What if we stopped judging ourselves and others for how we show up in our pain and just had compassion instead?
What if we acknowledge we are all doing the very best we can when faced with difficult circumstances?
What if we stopped begrudging ourselves and others what little relief we can find in whatever ways we can find it, even if we don’t agree on each other’s methods?
What if the actions of others, their beliefs, opinions and harsh words have nothing to do with us and are merely reflections of their own heart that may broken, closed or healing from trauma?
What if the same is exactly true for us?
What if our fear of starting over is what causes us to behave in hurtful ways?
What if our true value is no longer defined by others?
What if we just gave thanks for the gifts in our lives that are here because of all the pain we’ve faced and overcome?
What if setting ourselves free is our greatest act of self love and inspires others to do the same?
What if we stopped looking backward and started focussing on all the blessings here, right now, and what is on its way to us?
What if we stopped clinging to old habits, to things, to ideas, to people that only weigh us down and prevent our ascension?
What if we placed all of our attention on the incredible life that awaits us when we let go of the storylines that threaten to destroy us?
What if we remember our divine “why” and followed our hearts instead of our minds?
What if we choose love… every. single. time?
What would the world look like then?
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
My mind slips into remembrance of your touch
Your gaze…
Intense
Creating a fierce hunger in me
My heart skips a beat
Electricity flows through my veins
Awakening the sleeping passion within me
Tender embrace
Reverence
Gently holding each other
As we move into vulnerability
There is fear beckoning me
I resist the urge to pull away
Back to the safety of my armour
You stand in your truth with such courage
It calls me back
Opens my heart
No need to define this connection
So raw in its intensity
Just allowing the flow of energy to weave its way back to the ocean
To source
No need to build a dam
To block
To hoard
To interrupt what is destined.
This pull is strong
But I remain fluid
I cannot be held by grasping
I can only be bathed in and then released.
I seep into your heart and leave a piece of me
To remind you
I am here
Pure light
Resonating frequencies
Ease and grace my offering
I see you
I feel you so deep within
I hold you in my dreams
May this journey
Bring us closer to truth
Broken hearts
Healing
Trust
Guiding each other home
Let me hold space for your pain
Transforming my own
I am coming back to life
A spark of divinity
Awakening to love
To connection
To purpose
I am fed
But still hungry
I await our next moment
With baited breath
“Laughter connects you with people. It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you’re just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.” ~John Cleese
Yesterday I had a realisation…. I’ve lost my laugh. Or rather, I gave it away.
He hated my laugh… the too-loud witch cackle.
I learned to hate my laugh too.
I spent the past 20 years trying to change my laugh. To make it quieter, less annoying, but in the process, I lost it.
Losing my laugh meant I lost my deep capacity for joy. Suppressing my laugh, holding it in my throat, preventing its escape shut down my ability to communicate love.
How dare he take my laugh. How could I have betrayed myself so savagely as to allow him to have it?
It is in the smallest of moments that pieces of ourselves are stripped away. The little comments, criticisms, the rejections along the way….
One day you wake up and don’t recognise yourself. So many pieces missing.
I didn’t know that this isn’t what love looks like.
True love would never take your laugh.
Of all the betrayals, indignities, and disrespect, this one hurts the most.
Today, I am reclaiming my laugh. I will laugh as loud and as deep as the moment calls for, or for no reason at all.
For anyone who cannot revel in my unfettered joy, who lacks the capacity to experience intense emotions, including bliss, has no place in my life!
I will never again betray myself as to dim my light to enable another’s need to hide in the dark.
I am reclaiming all pieces of my soul that were lost, stolen, given away.
This new chapter will begin with getting to know myself again… the woman I abandoned so many years ago.
And it will include so much laughter, I’ll never need to do a sit-up again!
Namaste.
I
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