What if we love as much as we’re capable of loving, even if it falls short of other’s expectations or needs?
What if our insecurities and fears are the cause of our harmful behaviour and has nothing to do with others?
What if we act out just because we are hurting?
What if forgiveness for all the hurt we cause each other is a blessing that will open our hearts to loving ourselves and others more deeply?
What if we are so desperate to prove our worth by “doing” in order to hide from our feelings of worthlessness that we just can’t see another way?
What if being asked to open our hearts and rise is simply out of our capacity right now?
What if what we truly need is something we can find within ourselves and we don’t need to look to others for it?
What if our suffering is so immense, we just need to hide for a bit to feel safe?
What if we simply lack the skills to navigate through our own painful emotions so cannot hold space for others in pain?
What if we stopped judging ourselves and others for how we show up in our pain and just had compassion instead?
What if we acknowledge we are all doing the very best we can when faced with difficult circumstances?
What if we stopped begrudging ourselves and others what little relief we can find in whatever ways we can find it, even if we don’t agree on each other’s methods?
What if the actions of others, their beliefs, opinions and harsh words have nothing to do with us and are merely reflections of their own heart that may broken, closed or healing from trauma?
What if the same is exactly true for us?
What if our fear of starting over is what causes us to behave in hurtful ways?
What if our true value is no longer defined by others?
What if we just gave thanks for the gifts in our lives that are here because of all the pain we’ve faced and overcome?
What if setting ourselves free is our greatest act of self love and inspires others to do the same?
What if we stopped looking backward and started focussing on all the blessings here, right now, and what is on its way to us?
What if we stopped clinging to old habits, to things, to ideas, to people that only weigh us down and prevent our ascension?
What if we placed all of our attention on the incredible life that awaits us when we let go of the storylines that threaten to destroy us?
What if we remember our divine “why” and followed our hearts instead of our minds?
I have spent the better part of my life saying no.
No to following my heart, no to embracing my power, no to holding myself in high regard. I allowed others to treat me in ways that were soul-crushing, humiliating, and wildly disrespectful.
Why? Because I didn’t feel I deserved any better. Underneath my sassy bravado, I was insecure and felt utterly worthless. Naturally, I attracted relationships that confirmed my deepest suspicions about my value, or lack thereof.
After the collapse of my marriage, I found within myself a well of resilience and strength I had forgotten I possessed. With the unimaginable betrayal came deep grief and then a call to courage.
All the benefits of the “work” I’ve done these past 28 years rose to the surface—gently guided me through one trauma after another. I made a huge withdrawal from my wellness account within my heart.
Along with the loyal and loving support of my soul tribe, I am walking the path to awakening with fierce determination, a touch of grit, and a heaping tablespoon of trust.
I am now ready to say YES to following my dreams and passions; to awakening to true love and deep connection; to trusting my Knowing and being led by my heart.
I will break loose from the shackles of fear that keep me small. I will release the pain of betrayal and fly free toward my destiny.
I am being called to live the expansive life my heart has always longed for. The time for playing small is over. I benefit no one by hiding my gifts.
I am free to stand in my truth and share my offerings without holding back for fear of being “too much.” I embrace my too-muchness and allow my spirit to shine brightly and illuminate the path to awakening. I will no longer dim my light for those afraid to see.
The way forward is clear. I say YES to the Divine encouragement to take risks, be vulnerable, authentic & wild, to receive all the love in the Universe.
Here is a quote I love from Alana Fairchild in the Rumi Oracle:
“Something has to change in your physical world. You are in need of more sustenance, more love, more connection, and more nourishment that touches your body and soul, and brings them into deeper oneness with each other, with life, with love. Dare you open up and allow that love in? The Great Beloved has desired that this be so. Will you heed that holy desire? Will you allow love in? Say yes!
If you find this difficult, now is the time to gently, carefully tend to the walls you once placed between yourself and life – walls of tentativeness, excessive caution, fear of abandonment and betrayal, doubt of your own lovableness, and doubts based on past pain without substance. You are so much greater than these crumbling walls. They are the stuff that is designed for demolition, not devotion and honouring. Can you begin to unpack the bricks you mistakenly believed were essential to your safety and well-being?
You are too vast a sea for that small puddle of thought now. The oceanic world of love is your true home and the sun is beating down upon you. It is too hot to gaze at the ocean longingly from afar, or even stand by its edge. Strip off your layers. Run to the ocean and dive in!”
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon… I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
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