“Only two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity…and I’m not so sure about the Universe.”  ~ Albert Einstein ~

It is only when I accept that I DON’T KNOW everything that I become humble enough to learn new ideas.

I practice saying, “I don’t know” as a means of remaining humble and teachable.  It is a lot harder than it seems.  The real challenge is saying it when you truly believe you do know something.  Say it anyway and watch your ego gristle.  It is helpful to observe the conflict that arises when the ego rears its ugly head and protests that you DO KNOW!

Being liberated from “Know-it-all-itis” is a great place to be if your intention is to learn more about any subject, yourself especially.

Practice saying, “I don’t know” as often as you can today.  Then sit back and watch your ego come to life. 

I made a decision long ago that no matter who was offering the big glass of poison, I wasn’t going to drink it.  Seems like a perfectly logical decision, right?  Who would drink poison deliberately?  Well….turns out most of us do.

When I say poison, I mean a big, overflowing glass of guilt and manipulation.  The giver might be completely unaware of what they’re serving up, or maybe they know exactly what it is.  Either way, we still drink it. 

The main ingredients in this particular brand of poison are “should” and “have to.”  There is an underlying component of obligation or indebtedness that makes us feel we can’t say no.  Another aspect is our need to feel good about ourselves by people-pleasing.  However, looking outside of ourselves for validation is always a recipe for unhappiness. 

When we give out of obligation, there is usually some bitterness there.  When we give in order to boost our flailing self-esteem, there is manipulation added in.  We create our own special brand of poison and serve it right back.  Is it any wonder so many of us suffer from some form of illness, anxiety or depression?

Christmas is an especially rich time for the poison industry.  We’re all running around trying to find presents for everyone in our lives with, often, very limited funds.  Then, there are the obligatory functions we have to attend.  Instead of being an exciting time of year, most people dread the holidays and can’t wait for them to be over.

I made the decision long ago to abstain from drinking poison.  This sobriety meant challenging the status quo of society and ruffled quite a few feathers.  It meant that some people weren’t going to like me very much.  Some would downright despise me.  It also meant that I had to look within for feelings of self-worth and validation.

It’s not the easy path, but it is the way to freedom and serenity.  I say no to what I don’t want.  I don’t attend functions I don’t want to attend.  I don’t give my time and energy to anything out of obligation.  If I can’t give it without resentment, I don’t give it.  Some call this selfishness.  So what?  I think selfishness has gotten a bad rap.  Is it selfish to say no to manipulation?  Is it selfish to not look to others for approval?  Is it selfish to refuse to go on the big guilt trip?  If so, then I am extraordinarily selfish and proud of it.   

When I do give, however, it’s motivated by love and a true desire to be of benefit.  The recipients can feel that and give loving energy in return.  This organic exchange is what I cultivate in my life and, as such, I live a magnificent life filled with extraordinary people. 

I highly encourage you to explore your “selfish” side.

I can not remember the last time I was actually frozen in fear.  I wonder if it’s ever actually happened.  I’ve felt fear, sometimes enormous fear, but it has never paralyzed me before. 

A few weeks back I was working on my book proposal, which I foolishly thought would be so easy.  I thought writing the book would be the challenge.  The part where I had to really sell myself and my book idea is where I got completely stuck.  I was suddenly gripped with a debilitating fear that told me I had no business writing a book!  Who was I to think I had anything valuable to say or contribute to the world?!  I was really kidding myself!  No one would ever want to publish my silly, little book!  Thoughts like these continued to swirl in my head, growing ever larger and louder. 

Other people’s well-meaning comments came through as well.  I received comments such as: “Well, it’s a long shot, so don’t get your hopes up;” and “I’d wait a few years and see if you can build a bigger audience with your blog first;” and my favorite, “Yeah….good luck with that (insert sarcasm here)!”  All of these comments were telling me to be more “realistic.”  I made the decision right then and there to scrap the whole project.

Instead of feeling relief, I was flooded with despair.  I spent about a week wallowing in self-pity.  Then, one morning, I woke up and asked myself when I had ever turned my back on a challenge?  When had I ever allowed other people’s opinions to dictate the direction of my journey?  The answer is never…and I wasn’t about to start now!

I sat down to write my proposal and it was shaky at first.  The words weren’t exactly flowing out of me.  I pushed through, knowing from experience that if I just kept writing, the words would eventually come… and they did.  I submitted the proposal and spent the rest of the day frantically checking my email for confirmation from Hay House that it had been received.  Late in the afternoon, I got their email, which said they got it.  It was then that I realized I had been holding my breath all day.  I let out a big sigh of relief.  I had done it. 

The reminder here is that FEAR IS A LIAR and I must always take action, no matter what!  How to determine which voice is fear and which is intuition?  Fear is the screamer.  Intuition never yells.

To experience being truly connected to my source energy and, therefore, all of creation, brings me peace. It is only when I’m not tapped into that flow that I experience anxiety, depression and loneliness. When I allow the flow, I find it impossible to feel anything other than supreme joy.

So why would I ever choose to return to a state of blocked energy, feeling cut off and alone? The answer is simple….habit. There’s an odd sense of security and comfort in the familiar, even when it’s toxic. There’s an illusion of control when I’m doing the habitual thing.

Another reason is that we often cling to those fleeting moments of joy for fear they’ll disappear. When we don’t recognise these moments as our natural state, instead seeing them as rare and precious, we become fearful of losing them. It’s like holding water in your hand. When you clench your fist to grasp the water, it slips away. We greedily cling in an attempt to hoard the good feeling, and in our desperation, we lose it.

The trick is to just allow it to unfold and accept it as our natural state of being. In this allowing we experience more moments of peace until this becomes the new habitual practice.