Category Archives: Humour

Abundance is abound…. ❤️💎❤️

“When you realise there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

This morning, as I embark on this 53rd trip around the sun, I am filled with so many beautiful and intense emotions.

I am literally in tears…

for all those who have touched my heart and left my life;

for all those who will always remain in my heart that I love so much;

for all the blessings bestowed on me and finally being able to received them all with open arms;

for all the healing work I’ve done these past few years, in particular, that have now led to this fertile and lush garden of bliss;

for all the hurt and betrayal that has really shown me how incredibly strong and brave I am and has actually opened my heart & up-levelled my compassion, making me softer and kinder;

for stepping into a life free from old narratives and negative storylines which used to have me hustling for my worth with crazy busyness and performing;

for releasing from my life all those incapable of seeing past their shadow and meeting me in the heart space;

for having the courage to embrace my shadow and letting the light touch it gently, illuminating where I still need to send some love and tenderness;

for all the amazing opportunities to love deeper, laugh harder, play and dance with abandon, grab hold of my passion with both hands & never letting go, and to be of divine service to all beings;

and for truly trusting that I am loved, supported and blessed.

I just can’t wait to see what the Universe has in store for me next….

Abundance is abound. Watch this space!

Namaste ❤️💎❤️

Reclaiming My Laugh

“Laughter connects you with people. It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you’re just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.” ~John Cleese

Yesterday I had a realisation…. I’ve lost my laugh. Or rather, I gave it away.

He hated my laugh… the too-loud witch cackle.

I learned to hate my laugh too.

I spent the past 20 years trying to change my laugh. To make it quieter, less annoying, but in the process, I lost it.

Losing my laugh meant I lost my deep capacity for joy. Suppressing my laugh, holding it in my throat, preventing its escape shut down my ability to communicate love.

How dare he take my laugh. How could I have betrayed myself so savagely as to allow him to have it?

It is in the smallest of moments that pieces of ourselves are stripped away. The little comments, criticisms, the rejections along the way….

One day you wake up and don’t recognise yourself. So many pieces missing.

I didn’t know that this isn’t what love looks like.

True love would never take your laugh.

Of all the betrayals, indignities, and disrespect, this one hurts the most.

Today, I am reclaiming my laugh. I will laugh as loud and as deep as the moment calls for, or for no reason at all.

For anyone who cannot revel in my unfettered joy, who lacks the capacity to experience intense emotions, including bliss, has no place in my life!

I will never again betray myself as to dim my light to enable another’s need to hide in the dark.

I am reclaiming all pieces of my soul that were lost, stolen, given away.

This new chapter will begin with getting to know myself again… the woman I abandoned so many years ago.

And it will include so much laughter, I’ll never need to do a sit-up again!

Namaste.

I

Change the Channel

“You cannot struggle to joy. Struggle and joy are not on the same channel. You joy your way to joy. You laugh your way to success. It is through your joy that good things come.”

~ Abraham-Hicks ~

Right now, I’m reading a great book called, “A Year To Clear” by Stephanie Vogt. In it she says, “If you’re trying too hard to experience freedom and joy, it’s probably because you got stuck on the wrong channel.”

I really like this idea as it coincides with the concept of pivoting that I’ve been working with a lot lately. If I don’t like the direction I’m heading in, I better pivot, or I’ll end up where I don’t want to be. If I’m running a negative storyline in my head that feels bad, I remind myself to pivot, or change the channel to one that feels good. If we don’t like a song on the radio, we change channels. We don’t even think about it. We just do it. So, it’s the same practice when we have negative thoughts, such as: “I’m overwhelmed, too stressed, too busy, too poor, too fat, too sick, not good enough, not brave enough, not loved enough, not smart enough, etc….”. We can pivot to its positive opposite.

Below are tried and true examples I really find helpful:

  • “Slow down and just breathe, in and out.” Do this all day, every day. It’s that simple.
  • “Everything that absolutely needs to get done, always manages to get done.” So much of our energy is wasted in trying to get everything done in the least amount of time. It’s like we’re in a race with ourselves that never produces a winner. We multi-task, which usually only produces half-assed results. If we do one thing at a time, and are completely present and aware, we will likely have a great end-result with far less stress. This is personally my biggest challenge. I’m a do-er, but am actively practising be-ing (I even wrote the word, “BE” on my wrist brace).
  • “Will this matter in a month, a year, 5 years?” Will we lie on our deathbeds and regret all the stuff we didn’t get done? Or will we regret all the time we didn’t spend with those we love and doing all of the things we love?
  • “I have everything I need today.” List everything we do have and are grateful for. This is so important! Seeing our world through the eyes of gratitude, as opposed to lack, is essential in finding lasting joy. If we focus on what we don’t have (money, health, love, time), we will have more lack in all these areas. If we focus on all we do have and appreciate, we will have more abundance in these areas. The Law of Attraction is not hocus pocus. I’ve personally experienced it over and over as absolute truth.
  • “Money is a useful tool to be of greater benefit to others and I welcome it in abundance.” Money is NOT the root of all evil. Greedy attachment to it is. If we have a negative association with money and/or “rich people,” we will never attract money or have enough of it. We are just cultivating poverty mind. Think of money as a person, named Cash. We constantly trash-talk Cash. We think Cash is bad…evil. We believe Cash is everything that is wrong with the world. We hate Cash. Yet, at the same time, we are always complaining we want and need Cash. We want Cash to come round and hang out with us. We wonder why Cash has abandoned us. We feel sorry for ourselves and are jealous of the people that Cash hangs out with. They don’t deserve Cash’s friendship, we do. Is it any wonder why Cash stays away from us? We’re fricken nut jobs as far as Cash is concerned. Cash would rather spend time with those that appreciate and welcome him/her into their lives with love and open arms. Wouldn’t we do the same?
  • “I am moving toward my perfect weight/perfect health.” We spend so much of our time obsessing about our weight or poor health, that of course we experience more weight gain and worsening health. If we spent just a fraction of that energy doing what we KNOW will create the conditions for weight loss and wellness, there would be far less obesity and illness. It’s no mystical secret what creates good health. We instinctively know what to eat, what to avoid, to move our bodies more and what we need to be happy and well. We’ve just been taught to override our instincts in the name of profit, but good, old-fashioned common sense can lead us back to balance.
  • “I am nurturing my body with nutrient-rich food.” This is a great reminder to eat for nourishment…fuel. Our bodies are these amazing, miraculous vehicles to be honoured and respected. Yet we abuse them by eating crap food, smoking, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, taking drugs and even worse…. hating them. No wonder they eventually break down!
  • “I am nurturing my mind by keeping it open to new, positive thoughts and ideas and releasing the negative ones that don’t serve me.” Our negative self-talk is vicious and defeating. I do it, my friends and family do it, strangers I pass on the street are doing it. How do we escape it? Simple…. just stop doing it (oh, if only it was that easy…..). Our habits are created over lifetimes and are incredibly difficult to break. The only way I know of to move beyond the habitual patterns is to first become aware of them. Catch ourselves in the act and just notice that we’re doing it. Then, aspire to change and practise pivoting or changing the channel. I’ve found that, with practise, I’m catching it earlier and earlier, which has prevented a lot of the suffering that comes from following the negative storyline. As one of my fave teachers, Pema Chodron, says, “Stop kicking the wheel.”
  • “I am nurturing my spirit by surrounding myself with loving, vibrant, positive energy.” It is not only ok, but essential that we carefully select who we spend our time with and what energy we allow into our sacred space. If a person or activity lowers your vibration with negative or chaotic energy, reduce your exposure to them/it. Spend as much time as possible with people and engaging activities that raise your vibration and enhance your energy. And for those times when exposure to negativity is unavoidable, use it as a path to practise loving kindness for yourself and others by not getting hooked in. Joining someone in their negativity doesn’t reduce it. It only increases it and makes it stronger. I imagine a blissful pink bubble surrounding me with the negative energy bouncing off my bubble in an almost comical way. It really helps to keep it simple and light. You’re welcome to borrow my pink bubble anytime you want.
  • “I am enough, just as I am.” You don’t have to “do” to be enough. You are enough just by “be”ing. Any thought that says otherwise is a big, fat lie!
  • “I am brave.” Remind yourself of all the times you were scared and did it anyway. In the words of Nelson Mandela, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” In other words, it isn’t brave if you’re not scared.
  • “I am loved and love others.” Picture all the people you love and bathe them in loving green energy. This practice will increase the love you carry with you, always.
  • “I am universally intelligent.” Think of all the times you made decisions or solved a problem that led to a great outcome. We all make mistakes and do stupid things, but the ability to recognise it and aspire to change, shows enormous intelligence. Albert Einstein said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

So, when you catch yourself struggling to find joy, remember to just change the channel.

Namaste 🌈🕉

Moving Forward

Newton’s Laws of Drama….I mean, Motion.

Lately I’ve become very interested in Physics and how they relate to my marriage.  Newton’s 3 Laws of Motion seem to coincide nicely with the nature of drama.  Bear with me as I explore this further.

Newton’s 1st Law of Motion, called the Law of Inertia, says that an object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.  Newton’s 2nd Law of Motion (Force=mass x acceleration) says that an object with a certain velocity maintains that velocity unless a force acts on it to cause an acceleration, which means to me:  Love=emotion x drama.

Here’s an example of how these first 2 laws apply to my relationship:  When everything is going smoothly in my marriage, and I actually allow that to continue, my marriage is a happy one (at rest = no drama).  However, my nature is to not let this last for very long.  I can become quite an “unbalanced force” (thank you menopause!) and will abruptly change the speed and direction of our lives without any consultation, whatsoever, with my husband.  This acceleration greatly changes the velocity of our relationship.  He’s expected to just keep up, no questions asked.  As you might imagine, this creates a wee bit of tension.  I’m not entirely sure where this insatiable need for drama comes from.  I get that a lot of it is just simple hormonal surges, but surely there’s more at play here.  I know plenty of menopausal-aged women who seem quite balanced and content.  Are they all great actors or is there a tendency toward drama that’s more pronounced in some and less in others?

I spend a great deal of time analysing this drama phenomenon.  I’ve discussed this with a lot of my girlfriends, who all agree there is something quite seductive about a good dose of drama, although as grown women we’re not supposed to feel that way anymore.  In the absence of any real drama in our own relationships, we find others’ drama quite delicious.  I guess that helps to explain the gossip connection.  But what is the actual (or perceived) payoff in engaging in a good dose of drama?

Historically, for me, it served many functions.  It staved off boredom.  I was taught well by chick flicks that contentment and an easy friendship with a man are NOT sexy.  Nice guys who adore and cherish us are booorrring. I was trained to believe that lots of conflict and drama in a relationship creates passion, which in turn equates to true love. And let’s not forget the thrill of the chase.  Being unsure about how someone feels about you and the insecurity that comes with it causes that flip-flopping feeling in the stomach which is often mistaken for love. When, suddenly, all that adoring and cherishing goes away, it is all you can think about and all you want. The animal-instinct to chase it ensues.  Then there good old-fashioned self-doubt.  I had the very wrong idea that I didn’t deserve adoration and cherishing.  I thought, eventually, he’ll figure out that I’m not so great after all and split.  I decided the best answer was to drive him away by being the worst version of myself and then I would get the added benefit of “victim” drama.  This is where I get to whinge to all my friends about what a jerk he was (and they would all agree) and I never had to look at my own culpability.

I’d like to tell you I’ve matured and have no more need for all this drama.  Well, that’s just not true.  I don’t engage in it the same way I used to, but it’s still a factor.  This leads me to Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion:  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  I like to call this, “The Pissing Contest.”  It looks something like this…..  He’s being grumpy and I ask him why he’s so grumpy and he says he isn’t grumpy, that I’m being the grumpy one.  I tell him I was perfectly happy until his grumpiness caused me to become grumpy.  He says he was perfectly fine beforehand and is simply reacting to my grumpiness.  On and on it goes until we’re not speaking to each other anymore. Hours turn to days and days turn to weeks.  The drama phenomenon has been activated.  My husband knows me all too well and that I’m likely packing my bags in my head.  Old habits die hard, I reckon.  He’s come to expect that and no longer really worries that I’ll actually leave.  At this point, I’ve usually forgotten what I’m even angry about, probably because there was no good reason to begin with.  In my head, of course, I’m using the tried and true anthem of the 4 year old…. “but HE started it!”  My overdeveloped pride keeps me from just calling a truce and apologising, although for what I’m not really sure.  I’m ashamed to admit that it’s generally him who puts down the sword and comes forward with all that annoying logic and reason saying that it doesn’t matter who started it.  Isn’t is more important to just be happy?  Isn’t that what we all want?  Ironically enough, we were happy before all this unnecessary drama started.  Why this ridiculous detour?

There’s only one answer…..Physics!