there is a tenderness in my heart 

that feels like it’s breaking

***

breaking apart or breaking open

feels like the former

not the latter

my tears a baptism

***

my life is a blessing

this sadness feels like ingratitude

shame and surrender

***

i think too much

this i know for sure

i feel too much

a gift and a curse

***

craving and distrusting love

concurrently

***

enjoying solitude

longing for companionship

***

loving my sanctuary

wishing to find my home

in another’s heart

***

yearning for the intimacy

that only comes with navigating conflict

facing life’s myriad challenges together

***

my nervous system is wired for betrayal

and often forgets how to breathe

***

no one to save me from myself

i am my own champion 

tired of holding back the storm

already proven my strength 

***

will i find a soft landing in another

finally rest in the sanctity of union

to hold sacred

each other’s hearts

***

confusion feels like plunder

indifference like rejection

am i too fragile for this game

***

retreat feels safer

the armour battle-worn 

too heavy to carry

too edgy to put it down

***

raw

weary

i still believe in love

despite it all

***

hope springs eternal

and anticipation stirs within me

is my person still coming 

or already here