Category Archives: Inspiration

The Beliefs Challenge

affirmation, ego, experience, Fear, freedom, growth, health, Inspiration, life, meditation, Overcoming challenges, relationships, shame, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability
beliefs
“It is only by being supremely blissful that you can give others your absolute best.”
~ Jana Joy ~
I encourage you to look at some of your beliefs and ask yourself the following questions:
Does this belief empower me?
Does it benefit me in any way?
Does it make me happy?
If the answer to any of these questions is, “NO,” you may want to consider letting this belief go and open your mind to a new & improved belief that actually benefits you.
Comment below with a belief you have previously challenged and let go of, or one that you currently hold that creates negativity and restrictions in your life. I’ll start…
There was a time, long ago, that I held the belief that others’ opinions of me defined me. I believed, wholeheartedly, that I was an amalgamation of the ideas that others had formed about me.
Once I challenged this belief and learned the truth about who I really was underneath all the dogma and wrong ideas, I was freed from the prison of shame and self-doubt. I was liberated!! I had discovered that I was pure perfection…that we are ALL pure perfection.
The result of this exercise is that I became highly motivated to challenge all my beliefs, which has led to a life of constant, free-flowing inspiration, growth, empowerment and abundance.
There have been many obstacles along the way…painful emotions, a lot of fear and the pressure of society to try and make me conform to negative beliefs, but I persevered and eventually overcame them all.
I promise you, it was absolutely worth it!
Blessings, Jana

BREATHE.

affirmation, ego, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, grief, growth, health, Inspiration, life, love, marriage, meditation, Overcoming challenges, prayer, relationships, shame, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability

clouds

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thích Nhất Hạnh

Several years ago, when I was a smoker (I know….gross!), I used to believe that smoking relaxed me; never mind the fact that nicotine is a stimulant.  When I gained my freedom from that terrible addiction several years ago, I found that it was the act of conscious breathing that one engages in while smoking that leads the smoker to believe it’s relaxing.

Conscious breathing, as in meditation, right? Yeah.. kinda. But I don’t have to be on the pillow in meditation to consciously breathe.  Once I started to pay attention, I was surprised at how  often I found myself holding my breath or breathing in a shallow manner.  What usually caught my attention to this was that I would suddenly become anxious. I always thought anxiety brought about the shallow breathing but shallow breathing also brings about anxiety.

I once believed that breathing was automated and I didn’t have to think about it.  When I first began meditating many, many years ago, I learned that I didn’t know how to breathe at all and had to be re-taught.  It was hard in the beginning as the more I focussed on my breathing, the more I would hyperventilate.  Man, those early days were rough!

But over time, it became easier to control my breathing and feel the benefits of a regular meditation practice.  I highly recommend beginners join a meditation class or download some good guided meditations as I found it much easier to begin this way.

Now, whenever I feel uneasy, I check that I’m not holding my breath.  One deep, cleansing breath invariably removes, or at least reduces the anxiety.  My breathing tells the tale of my inner world.  It lets me know when I’m off balance, stressed, insecure or not in alignment with Source Energy.  It’s a great barometer that never fails to tell the truth.

So, Number 2 on my list of Divine Daily Practices is:  BREATHE.

 

BALANCE

affirmation, energy, experience, freedom, growth, health, Inspiration, life, meditation, prayer, relationships, travel, truth


Why is it that when I’m travelling, I find my balance so easily, yet when I arrive home, I fall out of balance almost immediately? It’s imperative I solve this riddle as I can’t rely on holidays for a sense of balance. I need to find it in my every day life in order to sustain emotional, physical and spiritual wellness.

What is it, specifically, that creates the feeling of balance whilst on holiday? Obviously, being away from work helps, as well as being away from household responsibilities. Yet, somehow I can work and clean while on holiday and it feels invigorating, not exhausting. What is the difference? Is it simply a change of scenery, or is the energy of a new place better or different? Perhaps my energy is what has changed, allowing me to view the world from a more peaceful perspective. If this is true, then how does one create a sustained sense of peacefulness at home?

Don’t get me wrong… I love my life! I am superbly blessed in every way. I have a phenomenal marriage, great energy and vitality, happy, healthy kids, financial security, meaningful work I love, amazing friendships that feed my soul and we live in a beautiful country in a beautiful house. So, why did I slide into this latest holiday completely on fumes? What essential component is missing from my every day life that’s throwing me so far off balance?

I know for sure one of the most important things to do each morning is to set my motivation for the day, which is always the same: To be of maximum benefit to everyone I encounter, however great or small. If I’m feeling discontent or off balance, I ask myself the following questions: Am I truly wanting to be of benefit to others or have I slid into selfishness and self-centredness? Am I taking the blessings in my life for granted or am I in a place of gratitude? Am I placing more importance on temporary material happiness than to a more sustainable spiritual happiness? Am I diligent with my daily spiritual practice? Am I letting life get so crazy busy that I don’t make time for what’s really important to me? Am I simply hungry or tired? Once I’ve identified the source of my poor attitude, I can then apply the antidote(s). Meditate more, worry less; spend less time on social media and more time on my writing; remove the clutter from my schedule so I have more time for family and friends. I could pretend I was on holiday and take a nap, lie on the beach with a good book, explore a new place I haven’t been to before, the list goes on and on. 

It seems the answer to the riddle boils down to one thing….space. Space to reflect, breathe, create, dream… space to nourish my mind, body and soul. This is not selfish, it’s essential. I am of no benefit to anyone if I collapse. Space is the missing component of our daily lives that we find when we’re on holiday.

So, the first item on my new list of Divine Daily Practices is: CREATE SPACE.

ARTIFICIAL PARADISE

experience, freedom, growth, health, Inspiration, life, travel

  
As I sit on the deck of our beautiful over-water bunglaow in one of the most universally recognised top destination resorts, I feel a little disappointed.  This place has been on my bucket list since forever and I was so excited for this trip. 

Don’t get me wrong… It is absolutely spectacular here and the water is a beautiful turquoise and so warm.  But overall, it has been a let down.  Initially, my husband and I thought perhaps our expectations were too high.  Or maybe it was fatigue from the travel that was making us a little grumpy.  But several days later, we still feel the same.

The feeling?  Like we’re big walking wallets queued up awaiting biopsy.  Even as we see new arrivals wearing their fresh leis, there’s a small part of us that pities them knowing they’re next in line for the shake-down. There is no culture to be found here.  There’s just an artificial corporate flavour.  The pretense is they’re so happy to have you here with an almost saccharine sweetness in their demeanour.  The alternative has been to treat us with blatant distain.  

Determined to enjoy ourselves, we’ve decided to just focus on relaxation and rejuvination in a glorious setting and let all the rest go.  We’ve retired to our little bungalow and only venture out to eat and swim, which has made us so much happier.

After many discussions on the subject, we came to the conclusion that we are just spoiled. We live in a magnificent part of New Zealand and absolutely love our lives.  We tend to work too hard and don’t always rest as much as we should, but otherwise, life is grand.  Perhaps that’s why our expectations are so great when we travel.  The bar is set pretty high.  We’re not looking for an escape from our lives, we’re looking to enrich it further.  

Our favourite place to go is Rarotonga in the Cook Islands.  We were trying to figure out the difference between Raro and here, or anywhere else we’ve been.  We came to the conclusion that the people of Rarotonga, where the land is ancestral and the big corporate giants cannot get their hooks in, are friendly in a very genuine way.  Although they’re comparatively poor, they’re rich in culture and a joie de vivre.  They value the tourist revenue but don’t resent your being there.  There’s a mutual respect and authenticity present.   They’re just relaxed and enjoying life, which creates a real sense of serenity and you feel like you’re part of a community.  Also, it’s completely safe, no matter where you go.  A local told us it is because it’s such a small island, any criminal misbehaviour will definitely get back to mamma and that’s scarier than jail!

This whole experience has really highlighted how incredible our life is.  I feel so grateful for the contrast of this journey, which has brought my attention to all the many blessings in our lives.  So, for that Tahiti, we thank you.

Namaste.

WANDERLUST

affirmation, ego, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, growth, Inspiration, life, Overcoming challenges, travel

  
“As long as I stay in my comfort zone and am not challenged in any way, my philosophies get hardened in concrete and there is no room for new ideas. That is why travel is so important. It facilitates movement.”  Jana Joy

Lately, I’ve been suffering from a touch of wanderlust. Never is it more apparent than when I’m travelling. I get caught up in my daily routine and glean some comfort in the repetitive, but I also become dull and rigid. However, when I travel and there is no “norm” in my day, I come alive in a way I tend to forget exists within me. Exploring a new place and meeting new people makes me feel giddy. The fresh energy recharges my batteries. I feel compelled to learn from scratch, change, evolve, be present. I feel awakened.

Like most Americans, I have within my DNA rampant consumerism. I love to buy stuff. But as I get older, and time seems to be accelerating, I’ve come to realise that experience is far more valuable than “stuff.” Experience changes me and enables me to grow in exciting ways. As long as I stay in my comfort zone and am not challenged in any way, my philosophies get hardened in concrete and there is no room for new ideas. That is why travel is so important. It facilitates movement.

Energy is always in motion and when I stubbornly resist that movement, depression and anxiety settles in. If I cling steadfastly to old, stagnant ideas and beliefs, I will suffer.  You’ve probably heard the expression, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of crazy.” I’ve tested out that theory, over and over and over again… and gone crazy in the process. If what I habitually think and believe is making me feel unhappy, then perhaps it’s time to let those beliefs go and open myself to ones that feel good. It does take a certain measure of discipline to change the habitual thought patterns, which only exist to maintain beliefs that are past their use-by date.  If it feels bad, throw it out!

I think that some of my resistance to letting go of old beliefs is that it feels a bit like admitting I was wrong. My ego hates to be wrong. My true nature, underneath all that ego, needs to adapt and learn new ways of being. That is what sustains real happiness. Ego-clinging sustains misery, and misery alone. There is no benefit for me there, yet I go to great lengths to protect my ego. Why is that?  Habit.

So, today, I am making the commitment to travel more, challenge myself and my beliefs in a way only stepping out of my routine can do, and seek out new experiences and people to keep the energy fresh and flowing.

What is your commitment to yourself going to be?

GRATITUDE, THE MOST EFFECTIVE ANTI-DEPRESSANT

Inspiration

gratitudepets copy

“Hell is a self-created prison in my mind, but when I actively look for things to be grateful for, I find an unending supply of magnificence and joy.”  ~ Jana Joy ~

It’s so easy to get caught up in whatever drama is playing out in our lives.  We get completely worked up in anger, sadness or fear.  We place all our attention on it and nurture it until it grows into an enormous, all-consuming beast.  When we focus on what’s not going the way we want, when we’re caught up, hooked, looking at the world through shit-coloured glasses, it’s easy to miss all the beauty and love around us.

I’ve been so depressed at times in my life that I couldn’t even muster the energy to get out of bed.  I’ve been caught up in so much rage, I couldn’t conjure up one iota of compassion for another.  I’ve been paralysed by fear so real, I believed it might actually kill me.  I’ve been to hell and back and I can tell you one thing for sure…. Hell is a self-created prison in my mind.

I know that last statement is going to ruffle some feathers.  The idea that we’re not responsible for the state of our own minds is a seductive one.  It felt quite natural to blame my genes, my parents, the government, or any external thing for the circumstances of my life.  My life happened to me.  I wasn’t an active participant in the creation of it.

How could I have been so foolish in believing this nonsense?  Because I thought it was the easier way through life.  I was always looking for an easy answer, a short cut, a way in which I could do as little work as possible, yet still avoid all those “bad” feelings.  Why put in the hard yards when I could simply take a pill, get drunk, scoff down some biscuits, or go shopping?? Unfortunately, these were all temporary distractions and never provided any lasting relief from the pain.  True, sustainable happiness was only going to come when I took responsibility for the state of my mind.

The first step was to recognise the power of perception.  How I perceived the world around me was very telling.  If I determined that the world was a cruel and miserable place, I was guaranteed a miserable life.  It’s a real act of discipline, sometimes, to stop wallowing in self-pity.  But when I actively look for things to be grateful for, I find an unending supply of magnificence and joy.

So why not use this power for my benefit as opposed to my destruction?  Seems logical, right?  We’re funny creatures, we humans.  When I give my dog a treat, she is only focused on the joy of that treat.  I doubt she’s angry about the treat she was denied yesterday or worried she won’t get a treat tomorrow.  We can learn a lot from animals about being completely present in the moment.

When I am present and full of gratitude, I can only experience joy.  It’s that simple.  If I practise this every day, it will become the new habitual response and my level of happiness will increase exponentially and sustainably.

What are you grateful for today?

BUSY SYNDROME

Fear, Inspiration, life, truth, Uncategorized

busy2 copy

“Exhaustion is not a status symbol.  Crazy-busy is a great armor… it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.”  ~ Brene Brown ~

The realisation that I suffer from Busy Syndrome was a shock to me.  When I read Brene Brown’s observation that we, in our society, see exhaustion as a status symbol, I immediately recognised that I am always talking about how crazy busy I am with an air of pride.  I’m actually bragging about being much too busy and, therefore, important.  Yikes!

This explains why I haven’t written a blog in so many weeks.  Once again, I have demoted my writing to “just a silly hobby.”  I have been actively disengaging with my gift of observation… staying distracted.  The question is… why?  If Brene is right and I’m staying busy in an attempt to numb and avoid my feelings, what, exactly, am I hiding from?

After some reflection, I’ve realised it is the feeling of insecurity.  I have let the doubt demons come in and throw a party in my head.  You know the scene… entertaining the thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough or that you have nothing vital to say.  Who do I think I am and what do I have to offer?

The antidote to this, for me, has always been to just show up and do it anyway.  No matter what my fear says, DO IT ANYWAY!  So, here I am… showing up and writing this blog.

I know from vast experience that this is the most effective way of shutting down the doubting demon party and moving forward. 

I would love to hear what your antidotes are for overcoming doubt and insecurity.  Please leave your comments below…..

Namaste.

FACING THE FEAR

Fear, freedom, Inspiration, Overcoming challenges, trust

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“Challenge yourself!  Move out of your comfort zone and just jump!”

~ Jana Joy ~

For years now I’ve wanted to skydive and the only thing holding me back was fear.  I have a long history of facing my fears head on, but this fear was too big.  Every time I imagined standing at the precipice of the airplane’s open door, I would break into a cold sweat and my heart would leap into my throat.

I made all kinds of extremely valid excuses to myself about why is was a reasonable decision to not jump from a perfectly good airplane.  But deep down, I knew it was just fear.  Fear of what?  Death?  Permanent disablement?  Ok… makes sense.  So why was the idea of skydiving becoming an obsession?

I knew why.  I had never let fear dictate my decisions before, but I was allowing it to now.

Skydiving was on my 71 year old mother’s bucket list and even my 12 year old son was really keen to do it, so I made the decision to face the fear, and jump (literally and metaphorically).

I bought us all 12,000 foot jumps over Whangarei Harbour, where I live in New Zealand, and even talked one of my best friends into doing it as well.  It was officially game on!

In the days and hours leading up to the jump, I watched skydiving videos on the web and got more and more excited about it.  It actually quelled my fear.  Knowing exactly what to expect appealed to my illusion of control. 

Jump day had arrived and off to the airport we went, along with my Dad, who came along to watch.  My son and mother went first and after they landed safely, albeit, ungracefully, on the ground (my mum ended up on her bum), it was my friend’s and my turn.

The plane ride up to 12,000 feet was smooth and the views were incredible.  I could even see my house and I knew our anxious husbands were on my deck at home with binoculars watching us.  I found myself marveling at how calm I felt.  I was super excited but not scared, which came as a surprise.  Then, they opened the door for my friend and her tandem partner to jump.  This was the point that my heart skipped a beat.  It went fast though and my friend was out of the plane and flying through the air.  It was my turn and it went just as quickly.  I leaned out of the plane doors and suddenly we were somersaulting out and into the sky.

The free fall was incredible. I didn’t feel scared at all.  It was exhilarating!  I spanned out my arms like a bird and flew.  Once the parachute was opened, we just coasted down and enjoyed the complete silence.  I never expected it to be so quiet.  It felt like meditation. 

Once we landed (on our feet, thank you very much), we all celebrated our courage and victory over fear.  I was able to cross off the last thing on my fear list.  There was no longer anything left that I hadn’t done because I was afraid.  I felt liberated! 

What is something you long to do but haven’t because you’re afraid? 

I strongly encourage you to challenge yourself, to move out of your comfort zone, face the fear and just jump!  You won’t regret it!

SHAME PURVEYORS

Fear, freedom, Inspiration, life, love, Overcoming challenges, relationships, shame, truth

ShameFingers

“It is an act of love to look after one’s self, not an act of community terrorism.”  ~ Jana Joy ~

Are you a shame purveyor or do you fall victim to them?

We all know what shame purveyors look like.  We may even occasionally catch a glimpse of one in the mirror.  It’s a person who points a finger and offers a judgmental comment designed to make us feel bad about ourselves.  Sometimes it comes in the form of a pseudo-compliment or phony compassion.  Here are some examples of the shame we’re sold:

“You’re so lucky to have a partner who doesn’t mind if you abandon your children to go off for a weekend away.”

“Oh, I could never do something like that.  I’d feel too guilty.”

“How do you manage to work full-time and still find any quality time for your family??”

“So, what do you DO all day as a stay-at-home mom? Don’t you get bored?”

“I wish I had time to take a nap/get a facial/go to lunch.  I’m too busy taking care of my family/community/work commitments.”

“You should help out more by joining our committee/volunteer for this cause/donate your money and/or time for this and that.”

“You should… You should…  You should…”

The response in my head is always, “You should mind your own business and stop should-ing on me!”  What I actually say is, “No, thank you.”  That’s it.  I don’t make up excuses.  I don’t offer apologies.  I just say no.  I used to be a victim of the shame purveyors and engaged in all the activities I should be doing in order to be a “good” mom and a “good” person.  But I was so busy and tired all the time that I turned into this resentful, crabby cow.  And what did I do with all that resentment?  I turned it on others and should-ed all over them.  I paid it forward.  After all, sharing is caring… right?

Then one day, I learned the valuable lesson we all have to learn the hard way.  In order to really be of benefit to others, I need to take care of myself.  I cannot give what I do not have.  If I’m burned out and exhausted, I’m not much use to anyone.

It is an act of love to look after one’s self, not an act of community terrorism.  But the shame police in my head and the shame purveyors around me would have me believe otherwise.  Taking time for myself to engage in an activity that feeds my soul, but is, otherwise, of no direct benefit to others will cause the collapse of civilization as we know it.  If I’m not there to hold it all together, it will all fall to pieces (can you say, “control freak?”).  As it turns out, the world keeps on spinning, even while I’m getting a facial.

Now that I’ve (mostly) conquered my inner shame purveyor, when I’m faced with one, I’m usually filled with compassion as I know all too well that the shame they’re attempting to push on me is nothing compared to the shame they heap on themselves.  I say “usually” because, I admit, sometimes my initial reaction is to want to smack them!   It takes a lot of practice to get past the habit of shaming myself and others, but, like anything else, the more I practice, the better I get at it.

If we all stopped playing the shame game, we would be free to live our lives purposefully and joyfully.   I encourage you to release your inner shame purveyor and stop the vicious cycle of abuse.  A true gift is one given from love, not out of shame or guilt.

VULNERABILITY

amends, ego, Fear, freedom, Inspiration, life, love, relationships, shame, trust, truth, vulnerability

vulnerability

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”  ~Brene Brown~

Vulnerability, to me, means telling the truth, even when it gets me in trouble or causes me embarrassment.  It’s saying, “I’m sorry” and asking for forgiveness. It’s saying, “I don’t know” and, “I love you.”  It’s sharing my fears and secret shame with those I love and trust.  It’s admitting I was wrong and that you were right. It’s allowing myself to be really seen, flaws and all.  It’s following my dreams, despite the fear of failure.  It is writing this blog and sharing it with the world. 

Vulnerability feels like having a wide open heart; loving someone so much that they have the power to hurt me deeply, and loving them anyway.  It’s allowing others to care for me when I’m sick or grieving.  It’s sharing the truth when you ask me how I am feeling.

Being dependent is not vulnerability.  Dependency makes me feel weak.  I’m learning that there is a vast difference to being dependent and depending on others.  It takes vulnerability to depend on someone, knowing that they could let me down.  And if they do let me down, it’s knowing that I’ll be just fine, despite feeling hurt.  I think that’s the main difference.  Dependency creates the illusion that I have no power to create the life I want; that if you leave me or disappoint me, my life will come crashing down around me, causing irreparable damage.

Feeling pain is a sign of vulnerability.  Rather than run from it, I allow it to flow freely through me, rejoicing in the knowledge that my heart is open.  A closed heart doesn’t feel pain…it feels angry or numb, both defense mechanisms.  When my heart is really open, my spirit is aligned with Source energy.  This feels so amazing, it’s worth embracing and walking through the pain.

I would love to know what vulnerability means to you.  Please share your answers in the comments section below.

Namaste.