I have spent the better part of my life saying no.
No to following my heart, no to embracing my power, no to holding myself in high regard. I allowed others to treat me in ways that were soul-crushing, humiliating, and wildly disrespectful.
Why? Because I didn’t feel I deserved any better. Underneath my sassy bravado, I was insecure and felt utterly worthless. Naturally, I attracted relationships that confirmed my deepest suspicions about my value, or lack thereof.
After the collapse of my marriage, I found within myself a well of resilience and strength I had forgotten I possessed. With the unimaginable betrayal came deep grief and then a call to courage.
All the benefits of the “work” I’ve done these past 28 years rose to the surface—gently guided me through one trauma after another. I made a huge withdrawal from my wellness account within my heart.
Along with the loyal and loving support of my soul tribe, I am walking the path to awakening with fierce determination, a touch of grit, and a heaping tablespoon of trust.
I am now ready to say YES to following my dreams and passions; to awakening to true love and deep connection; to trusting my Knowing and being led by my heart.
I will break loose from the shackles of fear that keep me small. I will release the pain of betrayal and fly free toward my destiny.
I am being called to live the expansive life my heart has always longed for. The time for playing small is over. I benefit no one by hiding my gifts.
I am free to stand in my truth and share my offerings without holding back for fear of being “too much.” I embrace my too-muchness and allow my spirit to shine brightly and illuminate the path to awakening. I will no longer dim my light for those afraid to see.
The way forward is clear. I say YES to the Divine encouragement to take risks, be vulnerable, authentic & wild, to receive all the love in the Universe.
Here is a quote I love from Alana Fairchild in the Rumi Oracle:
“Something has to change in your physical world. You are in need of more sustenance, more love, more connection, and more nourishment that touches your body and soul, and brings them into deeper oneness with each other, with life, with love. Dare you open up and allow that love in? The Great Beloved has desired that this be so. Will you heed that holy desire? Will you allow love in? Say yes!
If you find this difficult, now is the time to gently, carefully tend to the walls you once placed between yourself and life – walls of tentativeness, excessive caution, fear of abandonment and betrayal, doubt of your own lovableness, and doubts based on past pain without substance. You are so much greater than these crumbling walls. They are the stuff that is designed for demolition, not devotion and honouring. Can you begin to unpack the bricks you mistakenly believed were essential to your safety and well-being?
You are too vast a sea for that small puddle of thought now. The oceanic world of love is your true home and the sun is beating down upon you. It is too hot to gaze at the ocean longingly from afar, or even stand by its edge. Strip off your layers. Run to the ocean and dive in!”