Category Archives: experience

BREATHE.

affirmation, ego, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, grief, growth, health, Inspiration, life, love, marriage, meditation, Overcoming challenges, prayer, relationships, shame, trust, truth, Uncategorized, vulnerability

clouds

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thích Nhất Hạnh

Several years ago, when I was a smoker (I know….gross!), I used to believe that smoking relaxed me; never mind the fact that nicotine is a stimulant.  When I gained my freedom from that terrible addiction several years ago, I found that it was the act of conscious breathing that one engages in while smoking that leads the smoker to believe it’s relaxing.

Conscious breathing, as in meditation, right? Yeah.. kinda. But I don’t have to be on the pillow in meditation to consciously breathe.  Once I started to pay attention, I was surprised at how  often I found myself holding my breath or breathing in a shallow manner.  What usually caught my attention to this was that I would suddenly become anxious. I always thought anxiety brought about the shallow breathing but shallow breathing also brings about anxiety.

I once believed that breathing was automated and I didn’t have to think about it.  When I first began meditating many, many years ago, I learned that I didn’t know how to breathe at all and had to be re-taught.  It was hard in the beginning as the more I focussed on my breathing, the more I would hyperventilate.  Man, those early days were rough!

But over time, it became easier to control my breathing and feel the benefits of a regular meditation practice.  I highly recommend beginners join a meditation class or download some good guided meditations as I found it much easier to begin this way.

Now, whenever I feel uneasy, I check that I’m not holding my breath.  One deep, cleansing breath invariably removes, or at least reduces the anxiety.  My breathing tells the tale of my inner world.  It lets me know when I’m off balance, stressed, insecure or not in alignment with Source Energy.  It’s a great barometer that never fails to tell the truth.

So, Number 2 on my list of Divine Daily Practices is:  BREATHE.

 

BALANCE

affirmation, energy, experience, freedom, growth, health, Inspiration, life, meditation, prayer, relationships, travel, truth


Why is it that when I’m travelling, I find my balance so easily, yet when I arrive home, I fall out of balance almost immediately? It’s imperative I solve this riddle as I can’t rely on holidays for a sense of balance. I need to find it in my every day life in order to sustain emotional, physical and spiritual wellness.

What is it, specifically, that creates the feeling of balance whilst on holiday? Obviously, being away from work helps, as well as being away from household responsibilities. Yet, somehow I can work and clean while on holiday and it feels invigorating, not exhausting. What is the difference? Is it simply a change of scenery, or is the energy of a new place better or different? Perhaps my energy is what has changed, allowing me to view the world from a more peaceful perspective. If this is true, then how does one create a sustained sense of peacefulness at home?

Don’t get me wrong… I love my life! I am superbly blessed in every way. I have a phenomenal marriage, great energy and vitality, happy, healthy kids, financial security, meaningful work I love, amazing friendships that feed my soul and we live in a beautiful country in a beautiful house. So, why did I slide into this latest holiday completely on fumes? What essential component is missing from my every day life that’s throwing me so far off balance?

I know for sure one of the most important things to do each morning is to set my motivation for the day, which is always the same: To be of maximum benefit to everyone I encounter, however great or small. If I’m feeling discontent or off balance, I ask myself the following questions: Am I truly wanting to be of benefit to others or have I slid into selfishness and self-centredness? Am I taking the blessings in my life for granted or am I in a place of gratitude? Am I placing more importance on temporary material happiness than to a more sustainable spiritual happiness? Am I diligent with my daily spiritual practice? Am I letting life get so crazy busy that I don’t make time for what’s really important to me? Am I simply hungry or tired? Once I’ve identified the source of my poor attitude, I can then apply the antidote(s). Meditate more, worry less; spend less time on social media and more time on my writing; remove the clutter from my schedule so I have more time for family and friends. I could pretend I was on holiday and take a nap, lie on the beach with a good book, explore a new place I haven’t been to before, the list goes on and on. 

It seems the answer to the riddle boils down to one thing….space. Space to reflect, breathe, create, dream… space to nourish my mind, body and soul. This is not selfish, it’s essential. I am of no benefit to anyone if I collapse. Space is the missing component of our daily lives that we find when we’re on holiday.

So, the first item on my new list of Divine Daily Practices is: CREATE SPACE.

ARTIFICIAL PARADISE

experience, freedom, growth, health, Inspiration, life, travel

  
As I sit on the deck of our beautiful over-water bunglaow in one of the most universally recognised top destination resorts, I feel a little disappointed.  This place has been on my bucket list since forever and I was so excited for this trip. 

Don’t get me wrong… It is absolutely spectacular here and the water is a beautiful turquoise and so warm.  But overall, it has been a let down.  Initially, my husband and I thought perhaps our expectations were too high.  Or maybe it was fatigue from the travel that was making us a little grumpy.  But several days later, we still feel the same.

The feeling?  Like we’re big walking wallets queued up awaiting biopsy.  Even as we see new arrivals wearing their fresh leis, there’s a small part of us that pities them knowing they’re next in line for the shake-down. There is no culture to be found here.  There’s just an artificial corporate flavour.  The pretense is they’re so happy to have you here with an almost saccharine sweetness in their demeanour.  The alternative has been to treat us with blatant distain.  

Determined to enjoy ourselves, we’ve decided to just focus on relaxation and rejuvination in a glorious setting and let all the rest go.  We’ve retired to our little bungalow and only venture out to eat and swim, which has made us so much happier.

After many discussions on the subject, we came to the conclusion that we are just spoiled. We live in a magnificent part of New Zealand and absolutely love our lives.  We tend to work too hard and don’t always rest as much as we should, but otherwise, life is grand.  Perhaps that’s why our expectations are so great when we travel.  The bar is set pretty high.  We’re not looking for an escape from our lives, we’re looking to enrich it further.  

Our favourite place to go is Rarotonga in the Cook Islands.  We were trying to figure out the difference between Raro and here, or anywhere else we’ve been.  We came to the conclusion that the people of Rarotonga, where the land is ancestral and the big corporate giants cannot get their hooks in, are friendly in a very genuine way.  Although they’re comparatively poor, they’re rich in culture and a joie de vivre.  They value the tourist revenue but don’t resent your being there.  There’s a mutual respect and authenticity present.   They’re just relaxed and enjoying life, which creates a real sense of serenity and you feel like you’re part of a community.  Also, it’s completely safe, no matter where you go.  A local told us it is because it’s such a small island, any criminal misbehaviour will definitely get back to mamma and that’s scarier than jail!

This whole experience has really highlighted how incredible our life is.  I feel so grateful for the contrast of this journey, which has brought my attention to all the many blessings in our lives.  So, for that Tahiti, we thank you.

Namaste.

WANDERLUST

affirmation, ego, energy, experience, Fear, freedom, growth, Inspiration, life, Overcoming challenges, travel

  
“As long as I stay in my comfort zone and am not challenged in any way, my philosophies get hardened in concrete and there is no room for new ideas. That is why travel is so important. It facilitates movement.”  Jana Joy

Lately, I’ve been suffering from a touch of wanderlust. Never is it more apparent than when I’m travelling. I get caught up in my daily routine and glean some comfort in the repetitive, but I also become dull and rigid. However, when I travel and there is no “norm” in my day, I come alive in a way I tend to forget exists within me. Exploring a new place and meeting new people makes me feel giddy. The fresh energy recharges my batteries. I feel compelled to learn from scratch, change, evolve, be present. I feel awakened.

Like most Americans, I have within my DNA rampant consumerism. I love to buy stuff. But as I get older, and time seems to be accelerating, I’ve come to realise that experience is far more valuable than “stuff.” Experience changes me and enables me to grow in exciting ways. As long as I stay in my comfort zone and am not challenged in any way, my philosophies get hardened in concrete and there is no room for new ideas. That is why travel is so important. It facilitates movement.

Energy is always in motion and when I stubbornly resist that movement, depression and anxiety settles in. If I cling steadfastly to old, stagnant ideas and beliefs, I will suffer.  You’ve probably heard the expression, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of crazy.” I’ve tested out that theory, over and over and over again… and gone crazy in the process. If what I habitually think and believe is making me feel unhappy, then perhaps it’s time to let those beliefs go and open myself to ones that feel good. It does take a certain measure of discipline to change the habitual thought patterns, which only exist to maintain beliefs that are past their use-by date.  If it feels bad, throw it out!

I think that some of my resistance to letting go of old beliefs is that it feels a bit like admitting I was wrong. My ego hates to be wrong. My true nature, underneath all that ego, needs to adapt and learn new ways of being. That is what sustains real happiness. Ego-clinging sustains misery, and misery alone. There is no benefit for me there, yet I go to great lengths to protect my ego. Why is that?  Habit.

So, today, I am making the commitment to travel more, challenge myself and my beliefs in a way only stepping out of my routine can do, and seek out new experiences and people to keep the energy fresh and flowing.

What is your commitment to yourself going to be?