I can not remember the last time I was actually frozen in fear. I wonder if it’s ever actually happened. I’ve felt fear, sometimes enormous fear, but it has never paralyzed me before.
A few weeks back I was working on my book proposal, which I foolishly thought would be so easy. I thought writing the book would be the challenge. The part where I had to really sell myself and my book idea is where I got completely stuck. I was suddenly gripped with a debilitating fear that told me I had no business writing a book! Who was I to think I had anything valuable to say or contribute to the world?! I was really kidding myself! No one would ever want to publish my silly, little book! Thoughts like these continued to swirl in my head, growing ever larger and louder.
Other people’s well-meaning comments came through as well. I received comments such as: “Well, it’s a long shot, so don’t get your hopes up;” and “I’d wait a few years and see if you can build a bigger audience with your blog first;” and my favorite, “Yeah….good luck with that (insert sarcasm here)!” All of these comments were telling me to be more “realistic.” I made the decision right then and there to scrap the whole project.
Instead of feeling relief, I was flooded with despair. I spent about a week wallowing in self-pity. Then, one morning, I woke up and asked myself when I had ever turned my back on a challenge? When had I ever allowed other people’s opinions to dictate the direction of my journey? The answer is never…and I wasn’t about to start now!
I sat down to write my proposal and it was shaky at first. The words weren’t exactly flowing out of me. I pushed through, knowing from experience that if I just kept writing, the words would eventually come… and they did. I submitted the proposal and spent the rest of the day frantically checking my email for confirmation from Hay House that it had been received. Late in the afternoon, I got their email, which said they got it. It was then that I realized I had been holding my breath all day. I let out a big sigh of relief. I had done it.
The reminder here is that FEAR IS A LIAR and I must always take action, no matter what! How to determine which voice is fear and which is intuition? Fear is the screamer. Intuition never yells.